1. The people you encounter are extremely nice.
You mean, you actually want to know how my day is going? Really?
2. Everyone is really patient.
Wait, you’re not mad that getting coffee took 15 minutes longer than usual because the person at the front was casually chatting with the barista…? What planet are you from?
3. The traffic.
You can’t escape it.
4. The weather never changes.
It’s going to be 70 degrees and sunny? Every single day?
5. Public transportation isn’t reliable and walking is out of the question.
What do you mean I can’t walk? What about a bus? Why are you laughing at me?
6. There are never clouds.
Seriously though, where are they all?
7. I have yet to encounter a hipster.
What is this? Heaven?
8. I have, however, seen many surf bros.
Hang 10, man?
9. Fruit is actually affordable.
A box of raspberries is 99 cents? Not $5.99? No wonder everyone here is so healthy.
10. There is almost never humidity.
What do you mean I can straighten my hair and go outside without it becoming a giant ball of frizz in 10 minutes… Is this place heaven?