9 Things That Will Probably Happen Before Elon Musk’s Hyperloop Is Operational

It, uh, might be a while…

Tesla Motors / Via
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This afternoon Elon Musk unveiled his open source plans for the Hyperloop, a high speed transit system he once described as “cross between a rail gun, the Concord, and an air hockey table.” The prospect of Musk’s latest moonshot idea — which would shuttle people between San Francisco and Los Angeles in less than 30 minutes — has a lot of people pretty excited, but chances are we won’t see it for quite some time. I mean, have you been on public transportation lately?

Here’s just a few things you might be able to expect before you’re packed in Elon Musk’s low pressure/magnetic tube launcher and rocketed toward a distant metropolis:

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3. This stuff won’t exist anymore.

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4. But, to be fair, these probably won’t either…

Amazon / Via
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5. Dr. Dre will finally stop hawking headphones and release his much anticipated final studio album, Detox

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6. You will have a weekly hangout with Richard Branson and Elon Musk to discuss high speed intercontinental travel

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7. You will finally be able to grow your own weed legally…ON MARS.

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8. The first successfully cloned human president will send a picture of his cloned junk to another clone.

Time Magazine / Via
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9. Godot will show up to hang.

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10. The Jewish Messiah will arrive, buy everyone a round, and leave during a lull in the conversation without anybody seeing.

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11. Our planet will turn against us. Oceans will boil. Mountains will turn to dust.

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12. Basically, this.

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13. Sorry, guys. You can read all about the plans here, though.

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Charlie Warzel is a senior writer for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Warzel reports on and writes about the intersection of tech and culture.
Contact Charlie Warzel at

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