1. First things first: Any kind of Australian related list that contains the word ‘definitive’.
This is how furious we get when people try to group us into one stereotype. Australians are all individuals okay! Some of us are bogans and some of us are really bogans. You can’t just put us in a box.
Nothing can make a laid-back Aussie go from calm to psychotic, faster than a fly on their face.
3. When we go overseas and someone asks us why Australians are so racist.
Because everybody knows somebody, who met somebody, who had a cousin that had a roommate, who went to Australia and saw somebody being racist to someone else… or something. There is racism everywhere, but the more you try to explain that to them - the more defensive you sound.
4. The price of petrol.
FACT: Someone in Australia complains about the costs of fuel every 8 seconds.
5. When YouTube videos don’t work.
If you could bottle the amount of anger generated in Australia each day by this issue alone, we would probably have enough rage-induced chemicals to activate Bruce Banner into the Hulk.
6. The ‘budget love’ commercial.
None of us thought it could get any worse than the old bloke and the French woman… and yet now that the aliens have arrived, we find ourselves confused and somewhat concerned about what happened to Michael and Michelle.
The boozh-ay/budget debate strikes fiery arguments in many Australian households.
7. Hot cars.
Most of us know that in the heat of summer, one must keep some windows down or wait a moment with the doors open before actually getting in a car. But sometimes you’re in such a rush and before you know it, you’ve been branded. Cue cursing.
8. When an American asks us why we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.
This makes us question if they even understand why they celebrate Thanksgiving. Matteo Sumthin knows what’s up.
It’s like living in a Hitchcock film- every. single. year.
10. Film & television spoilers from those across the seas.
Even if we download something as soon as we possibly can - we’re still at least a few hours behind everyone else. Loose lips sink ships and ruin entire series.
11. The surprise bad coffee.
People seem to just be catching on to the fact that Australia has some of the best roasters and baristas in the world. Because we’re so spoiled for choice, we can get pretty angry about a bad cup of coffee. Whether it was an apprentice’s first day or just an off batch of beans, we’ve all experienced that random gross cup of coffee.
12. Australian movies.
We have produced some of the best actors in the world, and yet 98% of Aussie films are cringeworthy. This makes us mad.
13. Today Tonight and A Current Affair.
These two programs are so infuriating, that someone has created a Facebook page for the sole purpose of supporting their cancellations. Honestly though, in small doses they both make for great comedy.
14. When we lose anything.
We’re not necessarily sore losers, just harsh ones.
15. The lack of petrol stations and rest stops between cities.
This especially makes us mad when we go to the States and notice that every 20km they have petrol stations, restaurants and sometimes even theme parks. We don’t want to bulldoze our wildlife or anything… we’re just asking for a few more options here and there.
Nothing turns an Aussie off more than a whiff of arrogance. Both the cologne and the personality trait.
17. And most importantly: Hot Cross Buns in January.
Okay they’re delicious, but it just doesn’t feel right to be bringing them out on New Years Day. Even this baker is not impressed.
So what do you hate as an Aussie?
Besides this list.