1. The overwhelming scents lure you in.
You decide to follow your nose, not your heart.
2. Uh oh. One of the salespeople has spotted you.
The salespeople smell fresh blood.
3. Before you can even answer “What are you looking for?” you’re mesmerized by the beautiful colors…
GOLD GLITTER WHAT IS THAT.
4. Before you know it, you’re getting a hand massage you never even asked for.
That’s when things get a little weird.
5. At first you’re like…
6. …but then you kinda develop this odd affection for him/her.
7. No matter what product you’re even the slightest bit interested in, it’s their fave product.
It’s worked wonders on their best friend’s mom’s cousin.
8. You find out that LUSH products magically cure anything. Stressed out? Suffer from eczema? Have a crazy ex?
There’s a bath bomb for that.
9. (Speaking of bath bombs…The Sex Bomb always “drops” into the conversation. ALWAYS.)
10. Of course, they try to convince you that the best option is always the most expensive option, because the bigger sizes “optimize your use” or something.
You see through their ruse!
12. Then again, you realize that their products are organic and the company stands for important causes. How can you say no to that?
And more importantly, who can resist those slivers of soap that were individually cut and weighed just for you??
13. So you convince yourself that you could adopt a new, “healthy” skincare regimen.
14. And to accomplish this, you need a sensible amount of merch. Well, your definition of sensible.
15. And now for the exciting part: PACKAGING.
It’s also the one whole minute of relief you get from the relentless salesperson.
16. …the same packaging which, looking back, probably distracted you from comprehending your total.
17. Finally, it’s time to leave the counter looking like a total LUSH BOSS.
It’s like you just visited the DELI OF DREAMS.
19. …and you feel that fragrance-induced headache coming on.
20. You resolve to never step foot in a LUSH again, because all you gotta say to that store is:
You were brainwashed by their people!