The 30 Stages Of Having A Traumatic Hair Experience

Let’s pour one out for hair.

1. So, you think it’s time to make a change to your hair.

Your current style just isn’t cutting it anymore.

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2. You have a perfect vision of how you want your hair to look.


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3. You go to the hairdresser, full of hope and excitement!

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4. Which suddenly falls away with each snip.

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Did the hairstylist even LOOK at the photo you showed them??

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5. You see that your hair is dropping everywhere around you.

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6. This is the point where your dream makeover turns into disaster.

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**miracles DON’T happen**

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7. You realize you’ve made a HUGE mistake.


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8. Before the shock settles in, you wonder who the fuck told you bangs was a good idea.

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9. Actually, you wonder what possessed you to make the worst decision of your life.

You really don’t know.

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10. And you definitely think “OF COURSE this would happen to me.”

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11. But you grin and bear it, although your soul is basically dead.

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12. You’re normally a nice person, but you can’t help but throw the stylist some fierce shade when you go to pay.

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Because this is what you really want to say:

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13. You go home and cry about your new “hairstyle” for a couple of days.

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14. And cry.

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15. And cry some more.

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16. Everywhere you go, everyone seems to be rubbing their long, beautiful hair in your face.


Which makes you cry harder.

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17. When you’re not crying, you’re fuming to no end.

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18. And when you’re not fuming or crying, you’re just freaking out.

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19. You’ll doubt your friend’s and family’s support.

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Because you KNOW they’re laughing about it on the inside.

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20. So you salvage what hair you have left.

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21. And you’ll probably turn to this:

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Which might not help the whole “I-have-orange-hair” situation, but desperate times, etc.

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Or this:

Even though the smell literally makes you barf every time you use it.

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22. Or you just perfect the art of wearing a wig.

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23. But eventually you resort to cutting off your hair.

Is it really that easy?

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24. And you basically feel free.

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25. Until you seethe at THAT ONE question:

“Are you trying to look like a boy?” Or these other cringe-worthy, totally unacceptable words.

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In which you respond:

No, I’m trying to look like MYSELF, OK?

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26. It takes you a while to trust a new hair stylist.

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27. You might consider keeping your hair short.

Pixie cuts rule.

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28. Searching Pinterest for healthy hair alternatives becomes a daily routine.

Like the ones here, here, and here.

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29. And don’t worry, you’ll accept that fact that your bangs will grow to be less awkward.

Buena Vista Pictures / Via


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30. But in the end, you find yourself saying this:

Because you know, hair is hair.

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