20 Evident Signs You’re A Black Friday Shopper

All other “holidays” should just stop trying.

Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed

1. You are so relieved that it’s Black Friday season right now.

Alex Belomlinsky/Alex Belomlinsky / Getty Images

And you have this list of store hours memorized already.

2. You’re in a Black Friday Besties group, and this year marks the 10th anniversary of you all shopping together.

BFBFs for short.

3. You know the deals weeks ahead—in fact, you’ve signed up for Black Friday alerts.

Jeff Chiu / AP

You get all your imperative info from sites like BFAds.net, Brad’s Black Friday, and TheBlackFriday.com.

NOTE: No idea who Brad is.

4. Narrowing down your item list is like deciding who in your family gets to live or die.

5. So you get ready for the night/morning/afternoon of your life, because this Black Friday is going to be bigger and better than last year.

6. You keep looking at the clock during Thanksgiving dinner because you’re calculating the minutes ‘til you need to be in line at Toys R Us.

Just kidding, fuck dinner, Toys R Us opens up at 5 PM Thanksgiving Day this year!

7. And when your family makes remarks like “this isn’t the best day for deals,” all you give is side-eye.

You’ve done your homework and you know all the tricks retailers use on Black Friday.

8. As they drink Hateorade, you get your BF survival kit together.

Which includes:
-blankets
-a pillow (for your quick nap in the car)
-SNACKS
-important sales circulars and maps organized in a binder
-pain killers, lots and lots of them

9. AND DON’T FORGET THE CROCS!

 

Why be insecure about them, when your feet will be stepping in clouds?

10. Finally, you arrive to your first store and survey the mayhem before your eyes.

Mel Evans / AP

You’re not even the least bit daunted.

11. You get so excited when the line moves.

St. Joseph News-Press, Todd Weddle / AP

12. And when you make it to the front door, this is how you walk in.

The Arizona Republic, Tom Tingle / AP

“I run this place.”

13. Your emotions will run high, to the point where you’re always seconds away from hurting someone.

Magnolia Pictures / weheartit.com

14. And you’ve DEFINITELY had a fight with someone over a “Tickle Me Elmo” or something…but you always win.

Disney Channel / delovatoo.tumblr.com

Disney Channel / delovatoo.tumblr.com

 

“Nah girl, I got it first.”

15. You can’t help but blame those incompetent employees that things are running so slowly…

Daily News, Alex Slitz / AP

…not the massive crowd of thousands.

This is probably because they do shit like have meetings.

Dawn Villella / AP

Bag stuff.

Jeff Chiu / AP

Guard televisions.

Damian Dovarganes / AP

Empathy is hard at 6 AM.

16. After hitting all of the good locations, you start running low on cash.

Jessica Rinaldi / Reuters

Which is ridiculous, because you gave yourself a $7,000 limit and you’ve been extra cautious with your holiday shopping money this year.

17. And although there are tons of leftovers at home, you MUST go to breakfast with your BFBFs as it’s tradition.

18. You decide to stand in yet another long line for $2 DVDs that are irrelevant, or that $3 toaster you forgot to pick up.

St. Joseph News-Press, Todd Weddle / AP

19. And then there’s the inevitable extra trip to Best Buy.

Joseph Kaczmarek / AP

“Ooo girl, did you see that they have the original Grand Theft Auto for like, $5.50? The kids would loooveee that.”

20. Since you’ve bought presents for everyone else, it’s time to think about the things you want.

Which are…

And leftovers in bed.

Click here for some crucial and inspirational leftovers recipes.

Have A Happy Black Friday!

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