How To Catch A Cat
Clearly this is the way to round up those jerks.
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- reginalddennisj added Steal My Sunshine to the mix about 5 months ago
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Devin C. 5 months agoI accidentally left a cardboard box sitting on my back porch for a couple of days. Within 48 hours about three hundred cats had taken up residence. I couldn’t get to the box at all, of course, so I figured I’d just have to hose the porch down after they’d gone. This was a mistake. But other outdoor cats expanded into the vacuum left by those attracted to the box and the process continued. I made a few calculations based on the neighborhood feline density tensor which showed that the process should come to a standstill soon, so I thought I’d just let it run its course. But indoor cats in the area started appearing outdoors by quantum tunnelling, which I’d entirely left out of my math! I noticed when looking out my back window that the area around the box (now superdense with cats) was bending light noticeably; tidal forces made descending the stairs very hazardous. I called 911 and a team of quantum feline crisis physicists came over. We’re working on trying to disperse them with squeaky toys, catnip, cheezburgers, anything. Because if they collapse to singularity, the world will not end with a bang, or a whimper, but a satisfied purr.
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