How To Get Your Human To Let You Out After He Literally Just Let You In

Intentions are irrelevant.

This is you. Trying to get in.

And here you are, trying to get out.

1. If you’re going to convince your human to let you in and out at a moment’s notice, you have to pretend you don’t care either way.

2. Say it out loud. “I don’t care either way.”

3. Did reverse psychology not work? No matter. Your human is probably having a person-nap.

Stare at him until he feels your presence in his very dreams.

4. Do what’s necessary to get this furless beast off the squishy thing they’re always sleeping on.

5. Use your voice. You have a voice.

LET ME MEOWT.

6. Still no? Weird. Knock something over.

7. If your human continues to deny you access to the free world, threaten his watermelon.

8. Wait, no. Potato. Threaten the potato.

9. WAIT - I meant the small human. Threaten that.

I can never remember which one they value most.

10. This one’s tough. Time to bring out the big guns.

11. Give ‘em the face.

Purrr-lease! Let me urrrrrt!

12. Use your brute strength to bring him to his knees.

13. Stand directly in front of the magic light box when they’re looking at it.

14. Give that human a kiss. Humans love kisses.

15. Speak in tongues.

16. Did you try knocking something over yet?

17. If all else fails, withhold love.

This method is 100% effective.

18. Congrats, comrade. You’re outside, and fresh to death.

Oop! Time to go back in.

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