1. Just like clockwork*, your period has arrived.
8. So you trim the “stem” like the instructions say, but that doesn’t seem to help.
9. And realise that even when you get the stem length figured out, you didn’t put it in properly.
11. And when you do finally do get it in properly, you’re convinced this will happen if you sneeze.
12. You also find yourself wanting to tell everyone about it.
13. And to give everyone an update on how you’re doing, and that you have a cup shoved up your vagina.
15. You obsessively watch the clock to see when it’s time to change it.
16. Because you don’t want to find out what will happen if you leave it in too long.
17. But you’re also afraid of what will happen when you take it out for the first time.
20. And, just as you feared, you think it might be stuck.
21. You definitely think it’s stuck.
And you realise this is the worst thing that could ever happen. Ever.