BuzzFeed's 10-person poetry staff has narrowed the results of last Friday's Poetry Battle down to three finalists, but after 72 hours of debate, we're still unable to choose the clear victor. They're all so good! So check out these dramatic readings of the three contenders by your host, Jack Shepherd, and weigh in with your own input. It's a battle: Three poems enter, one poem leave!!!

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A straight up brawl erupted when Scott Niedermayer gave his hockey stick to a fan in the crowd last night. Stay classy, Ducks fans. via .

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Rugby buzz, you guys! Check out this randomly selected rugby fan's one in a million shot off the crossbar for a £250,000 prize. After making the absurdly unlikely kick in his socks during halftime at the Saracens/South Africa game at Wembley this week, Stuart Tinner is a British national hero. Well played, buddy.

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The Best Links:

1. Job-centre worker Stuart Tinner - and his mother - celebrate £250,000 win on lucky punt
2. Rugby union fan Stuart Tinner wins £250,000 in Wembley crossbar challenge at Saracens’ win over South Africa
3. Rugby fan wins £250,000 with a kick in his socks
4. £250,000 kicker Stuart Tinner greets media in Welwyn Garden City
5. Rugby fan wins £250,000 with a kick in his socks

Tillman the skateboarding dog takes on the new Tony Hawk: Ride game. I don't care that it's fake, and an obvious marketing attempt on behalf of Activision. I think it's cute.

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The Best Links:

1. Via Kotaku

On the positive side, it was a pretty impressive goal. On the negative side, nobody is watching this video because of the awesome goal you made.

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The Best Links:

1. Via BWE

Five-year-old goalie kicks the ball into the wrong goal. It's fun to remember a time when soccer was just an innocent sport not to be taken too seriously .

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1. Youth Soccer FAIL via Outside the Boxscore

The suspended New Mexico State soccer star shows off her softer side in this dating video. It's nice to see she's having fun with this, but she is seriously terrifying . I don't buy her act.

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The forests of suburban America can be dangerous places. Upwards of 5 runners a year fall prey to vicious tiger attacks.

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Come on you insane wordsmiths, you bone-crushing poets!!! COME AT ME!!! IT'S A POETRY BATTLE!!!!! Here's how a poetry battle works: You submit your poems below, we'll pick some winners, and we'll film Jack reading them in his fancy British accent. It's a fucking battle!!!!!!

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Absolutely amazing animation telling the first person account of the true story behind Dock Ellis' trippy no-hitter.

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The Best Links:

1. Snopes.com: Dock Ellis LSD No-Hitter
2. 5 Greatest Things Ever Accomplished While High

Love him or hate him, Chad Ochocinco is the most entertaining player in the NFL. Personally, I love his special brand of jackassery, and with the Giants making me suicidal on a weekly basis, I need someone to make me crack a smile on Sunday.

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The manager for Liverpool's soccer team has the ability to magically control his infographics.

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If you have a deep respect for the human dignity of crackheads, then: this is mean. Otherwise, New Party Game!!!

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The Best Links:

1. via Reddit

This Japanese bra-bustier thing unfurls into a golfing mat and comes with an attached golf ball so you can play golf anytime, anywhere! If you're going to wear something uncomfortable, may as well make it double as something useful. Click through to see more double-tasking bras.

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The Best Links:

1. USB Keyboard Bra
2. Eco-friendly Bra Doubles As Shopping Bag
3. Warming Bra unveiled in Japan
4. Solar-powered Bra Displays Text, Holds Drinks
5. Marriage-Hunting Bra
6. Bra doubles as golf putting mat via Pink Tentacle

Atlanta Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez has a wife called October. When you are a famous athlete you totally get to have a wife with an absurd name. Also, they would rather go naked than wear fur, which is decent of them, because fur is bad and naked is good. This is the PETA ad they made, which is all over the place today.

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The Best Links:

1. Tony and October Gonzalez Would ‘Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur’
2. Tony Gonzalez and his wife get nude for PETA
3. PETA’s Blog: NFL’s Tony Gonzalez: Turn Back Time With Tofu
4. PETA’s Skinless Animal Ad
5. Gonzalez, wife appear nude for PETA
6. Also Naked for PETA Recently: An Attractive Girl From That Vampire Movie

They won first place at “Head of the Hooch!” Congrats ladies! Also, I can't think of a clever way to say, “That's a lot of camel toe!”

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Saudi striker Nawaf Al Abed scored what people are calling the fastest goal in a professional soccer match ever, officially clocking in at 2 seconds. That little dance they do after scoring the goal is so cute. Nawaf and his team ended up winning the game, 4-0.

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The Best Links:

1. 5 Fastest Soccer Goals

A soccer fan is spotted brushing his teeth during a Chelsea vs Manchester United game. Maybe they don't have Listerine strips in the UK?

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The Best Links:

1. via Nothing To Do With Arbroath: Man spotted brushing his teeth at football match
2. Here’s a Closeup

Mark Gonzales created a “Circle Board” out of nine skateboards. Then skater Anthony Pappalardo tried the contraption out. via flavorwire .

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You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around . Apparently that's what baseball is all about.

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