In a recent soccer match, Muangthong United forward Mario Djurovski scored a goal to put his team ahead 2-0 in the 35th minute of the match. Then he decided to celebrate in the weirdest way imaginable...

He started off by removing his shorts, because DUH!

And then he put the shorts on his head and did this...

Which unfortunately led to this...

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Some PR human sent us this video of Jumbotron buffoonery. It is amusing! But, more importantly, it contains what might be the greatest thing I've ever seen on a Jumbotron.

Source: youtube.com

Some cursory sleuthing reveals that it likely took place at a Thrashers vs. Canadiens game sometime in 2009. It is majestic. It is beautiful. It might have been staged, but I don't care.

This man's face is the Great American Novel.

A surprising amount of people are genuinely upset over the fact that Tim Tebow is currently without a job. This large contingent apparently even includes actor, martial arts master and walking urban legend Chuck Norris. This week Walker, Texas Ranger himself wrote a column endorsing Tebow on NewsBusters.org.

If you care about that sort of thing, you're encouraged to read his entire screed, but if you want a few laughs here are the highlights:

Source: nbcdfw.com

Source: mashable.com

Source: pickthebrain.com

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Via: David Santiago/El Nuevo Herald/MCT

Roy Hibbert had plenty of reason to be upset last night. One of the league's best interior defenders, Hibbert was benched by Indiana Pacers coach Frank Vogel for the Pacers' final two possessions against the Heat; what resulted was LeBron James having easy access to the basket. On the first, a Norris Cole screen leaves the 6'2" George Hill on the 6'8" James, who torches him on his way to a simple basket.

After Dwyane Wade stupidly fouled Paul George on a broken-play desperation three, George buried three free-throws to put the Pacers back up. But despite the complete lack of interior presence evidenced on the prior play, Hibbert remained on the bench, and James, sucking George out to the three-point line on the inbounds, turned and cut inside for another straightforward layup.

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Boston Celtics minority owner James Pallotta presented Pope Francis with a personalized Celtics jersey at the Vatican Wednesday.

Via: Gregorio Borgia / AP

The jersey's pretty amazing.

Via: Gregorio Borgia / AP

Seriously.

Via: Gregorio Borgia / AP

Pallota is the president of soccer team AS Roma, who will play rival team SS Lazio in the Italian Cup final this weekend.

Via: AP / AP

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Via: Mike Ehrmann / Getty Images

Tonight's Heat-Pacers game, the first of the Eastern Conference Finals, ended with about 65 lead changes and 110 clutch shots, or at least that's how it seemed. Here are but a few of the wild events that closed out the game.

First, there was Heat guard Norris Cole executing the rarely-seen "pick-and-punch-a-guy-in-the-balls-and-roll" play.

With under 20 seconds left and the Heat ahead by two, the usually reliable Ray Allen missed one of two three throws. Paul George then made this running shot from what looks like about 28 feet from the basket to force overtime.

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Via: Alonzo Adams / AP

On Tuesday, in the wake of a tornado that hit the city of Moore, Oklahoma and took at least 24 lives, Oklahoma City Thunder star Kevin Durant donated $1 million to the Red Cross to aid relief efforts.

That's a lot of money, in case you're someone who's unfamiliar with the concept of money. And even for a guy like Kevin Durant, who makes the maximum salary allowed by the NBA at this point in his career plus a supertanker's worth of endorsement money, it's still significant. According to Forbes' most recent ranking of the world's highest-paid athletes — a list on which he placed #34 — Durant made $25.5 million from June 2011–June 2012, $12.5 million of it from his basketball salary and $13 million from his endorsements. (Both of those numbers certainly went up for June 2012-2013, but let's stick with the completed fiscal year.) And because Durant's 24 years old and has only been on a big contract for a couple years, it's unlikely that he has either an enormous amount of money in the bank or is making a lot from investments or interest on savings yet.

So did Durant just sit down and write a check with six zeroes?

Basically, yes, said Mitchell Halpern, director of Sports and Entertainment Accounting Services at O'Connor & Drew in Boston, except it was his foundation writing the check. But that still means the foundation had $1 million to give, which it either raised in his name (through, say, auctions of signed memorabilia) or was given directly by Durant.

Since Durant will get a tax deduction for the donation, how much will it ultimately set him back? "Let's assume he did it directly, for a second," Halpern said — as in, assume Durant gave a million dollars to his own foundation, who then gave a check for the same amount to the Red Cross. "When he does his tax return" — federal, not state; it's hard to know exactly what Durant's state-tax situation is — "with today's tax brackets, he's well into the top bracket of 39.6%. There are a lot of assumptions to be made, but he will essentially get a tax deduction of $1 million, which translates, if he has $25 million income, into $24 million left of taxable income. The rate on that last million is 39.6%. That's reducing his tax obligation by $396,000. So, the million-dollar deduction ultimately is costing him $610,000."

Halpern clarified that the Red Cross is still receiving $1 million; it's just coming at an expense of about $610,000 to Durant, which is the government's way of encouraging charitable donations.

For perspective: let's assume that Durant paid about 40% of his income last year in various federal and state taxes. Someone who makes $50,000 probably pays about 25% of their income in taxes, all-considered. (PLEASE do not argue about taxes in the comments, unless it's to correct our math.) Durant's donation, as a portion of the income that Durant actually saw last year, is roughly the equivalent of someone who makes $50,000 up and writing a Red Cross check for about $2,000, of which they'd get $500 back at the end of the year after taking the cost of the donation off their taxable income. ($50,000 is about the median household income in the U.S.) Alternately, our hypothetical $50,000 earner could work to put together $2,000 through fundraising, since it's possible Durant's foundation already had the cash on hand from previous efforts — which he would've been involved in, of course.

Put even simpler, Durant's donation is just as generous as it first appears — maybe even more so.

Via: Wilfredo Lee / AP

There's no reason to think that the Miami Heat won't eventually win this Eastern Conference Finals against the Indiana Pacers easily, because the Miami Heat have shown themselves to be, quite literally, almost totally incapable of failure. Erik Spoelstra's team has gone 45-3 in its last 48 games, which includes an 8-1 playoff run against Milwaukee and then Chicago. The story starts and stops with LeBron James, clearly, but he's doing his thing in a different yet equally compelling way this postseason, a precise and almost laid-back efficiency that makes you wonder whether he'll ever need to revert to the old, explosive LeBron James.

Compared to last year's title run, James is averaging fewer points, rebounds, steals, and blocks per game through the playoffs so far, but he's also playing 3.3 fewer minutes per game. And his True Shooting Percentage — a more meaningful metric that aggregates his two- and three-point field-goal percentage with free throws — puts him at 61.7%, a few ticks off his regular season level but also just a hair away from besting his all-time playoff best (61.8% in the 2009 postseason). In other words, LeBron has played exactly as his team has needed him to perform. It's as if he's saving up the mojo for when (and if) his team might really need an extra dose.

But the Indiana Pacers are a far more complete team than either of Miami's previous opponents. The Pacers frustrated and confounded the Knicks into playing some of their most uninspired basketball at a most inopportune time, and Paul George has been nothing short of a revelation, as his 19.1 points, 8.3 rebounds, and 5 assists are all marked improvements over the regular season. And an offense that has four starters averaging at least 14 points per game — Miami only has James (24.0) eclipsing that mark these playoffs — is perhaps cohesive and unselfish enough to find the gaps in Miami's D. If the Pacers are open to move the ball around and knock down the open shots that Miami may afford them, this series will be a scrap to the deciding contest, be it Game 5, 6, or even 7.

Via: Michael Conroy / AP

Moreover, the Pacers aren't going to fold. The entire ethos of their organization is to work hard and play tough, they've got nothing to lose at this point, and they aren't scared of LeBron, having taken a 3-2 series lead on the Heat in last year's second round. It's too bad that Miami has shown almost zero weakness this postseason and it's a mental impossibility to see Indiana winning, even in the most drawn-out scenario, four out of seven games, something that hasn't occurred in Miami's last 48-game sample size. To accomplish such a feat in seven games, let alone five or six, would represent one of the more remarkable upsets in NBA history. That doesn't mean the Pacers can't play exciting or competitive basketball for the duration of this tilt or even steal a game or two. They can do the former, and they will probably do the latter.

In the end, Miami will remember they're the champions and LeBron will remember that he's LeBron and a Finals defense of last year's crown will commence against either Memphis or San Antonio. But we can still enjoy watching him get there.

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Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia have had a bit of a feud developing of late. At the Players Championship two weeks ago Garcia and Woods were paired up, and Garcia accused Woods of making noise during his backswing to distract Garcia.

Via: Dave Martin, File / AP

First Woods:

"Not real surprising that he's complaining about something."

Then Garcia:

"He's not my favorite guy to play with, he's not the nicest guy on tour. We don't enjoy each other's company. You don't have to be a rocket engineer to figure that out."

Then Woods said that he wouldn't be calling Garcia to patch things up to which Garcia replied:

"He called me a whiner. That's probably right. It's also probably the first thing he's told you guys that's true in 15 years. I know what he is like. You guys are finding out."

Then at a press conference Garcia was jokingly asked by Steve Sands of the Golf Channel if he would have Tiger over for dinner during the US Open. Garcia responded:

Via: Richard Heathcote / Getty Images

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Last night, during the Kings-Sharks playoff game, the Los Angeles Kings let Kevin Ryder of LA's Kevin and Bean radio show take over their twitter account.

Via: Robert Galbraith / Reuters

It became clear that was a mistake when Ryder tweeted out a rape joke from the official Kings account.

The Kings quickly deleted the tweet and issued an apology.

H/T Mashable.

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They're always setting lofty goals without worrying too much about whether they can achieve them.

While never hesitating to challenge the laws of science.

They know to expect the unexpected.

They're resourceful.

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Jose Canseco tweeted this today:

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Via: Andrew S. Bernstein / Getty Images

By 1988, Carolina native Alexander Julian had established himself in New York as a fashion designer known for incorporating bright colors into upscale men's clothing. Twenty-five years later, his company is still going strong, and his most popular contribution to menswear is remembered for its bold combination of teal and purple — but it's not an item of high fashion. Julian's signature work is a basketball jersey, the one worn by the erstwhile Charlotte Hornets, perhaps the most unlikely sports-business success story of the last half-century. It was an item that became a national sales phenomenon despite being affiliated with an expansion team that never advanced beyond the second round of the playoffs during their 15 seasons in North Carolina. By 1995, just seven seasons into the franchise's existence, more Hornets jerseys were sold than any other team's in the NBA. And it wasn't only jerseys that sold; Starter jackets featuring the bold Hornets teal continue to top twentysomethings' lists of favorite childhood wardrobe items.

The Hornets eventually moved to New Orleans — where they've now renamed themselves the New Orleans Pelicans — because their owner couldn't get along with city officials or fans, but the Hornets' mystique has proven so enduring that the team's NBA successors in Carolina, the Michael Jordan–owned Charlotte Bobcats, are now announcing that they're going to be reassuming the Hornets name. Crucially, the Bobcats haven't yet commented on whether they'll be bringing back the original Hornets uniforms and color scheme. But they'd be crazy not to take advantage of a design that was such a phenomenon.

Via: Nathaniel S. Butler / Getty Images

"When it came out, I felt like I had dropped a teal bomb on Charlotte," Julian said. "There was a new housing development that changed its name to 'Teal Acres.' The Park Hotel, which was the best hotel in town, changed its logo to teal. The towels were embroidered in teal. I felt a little like Doctor Frankenstein. I had created a monster. It took off like crazy." Julian grew up the son of a men's clothing store owner in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. In terms of passion for basketball, few places rival the hometown of the Tar Heels, and Julian was always a fan. He graduated from the school in 1969 and has since sent four of his children to UNC. He never took to following the NBA with anything more than cursory interest until the late 1980s, when talk of a professional basketball team in Charlotte began circulating. George Shinn, the businessman who ultimately brought the Hornets to Charlotte (and took them to New Orleans), happened to share a banker with Julian. That banker introduced Julian to Shinn, who included him in a jersey-design process that had gotten into some early PR trouble.

"Way before there was any talk about involving me in the design, the fashion editor of the Charlotte Observer asked George if they knew what kind of colors they were going to use," Julian said. "He said he didn't know but that they'd try to use the same ones chosen by the architect of the stadium, and when they mentioned that pink was one of them, she jumped. She had an artist design a pink uniform and ran it in the newspaper, and the reaction from radio shock jocks was horrific. I wasn't there, but what I can tell you is when we had the press conference to announce that I was going to design the uniforms, the first 14 questions I took from the press were about whether or not I was going to use pink."

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So says Jason Garfield, founder of the World Juggling Federation and impresario of the sport of "Combat Juggling," a combination of dodgeball, tag, juggling and blunt-force assault. Per Garfield — a Seattle resident and performer who's kind of a juggling professor-slash-standup comedian; see some of his entertaining riffs here — "Combat" games have been a part of the juggling community for years, and his launch of Major League Combat in 2010, after what he says was three years of planning and preparation, turned the pastime into a formal sport.

The basic goal of MLC is simple enough: try to prevent your opponent from juggling (by knocking down their clubs) while maintaining control of your own three-club juggle. In other words, the last juggler standing wins. There are several strategies used to accomplish this, but players typically toss one of their clubs high in the air to give themselves an opening for an attack.

A competitor is out when they stop juggling, when one of their clubs hits the floor, or when one or more of their clubs is stolen by another competitor. Light bumping and arm-to-arm altercations are permitted. This is COMBAT!

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During the fourth quarter of tonight's Spurs-Grizzlies game, Memphis erased a double-digit deficit steadily over the last eight minutes. But the pivotal moment came here:

Down by four, Tony Allen goes for a layup and is fouled hard on the arm by Manu Ginobili. He writhes on the ground, clutching his head. A flagrant foul is called, seemingly owed as much to Allen's reaction as the foul itself.

But it turns out upon further review that Allen's head never even touched the hardwood. Not that it didn't look like the fall hurt — it did. It's just that Allen's reaction didn't make a lot of sense.

He continued to sell it to the officials as they reviewed the flagrant, and sure enough, the ruling was upheld. Allen made both free throws, the Grizzlies kept the ball, and Mike Conley hit the game-tying jumper.

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If you want to know why superstitionados do the things that they do, then you need to throw logic out the door, because having a superstition is all about going with your gut and keeping the winning tradition alive.

Well that, and some other stuff too...

For instance, you have to wear the same outfit for every single game.

It's called your "gameday gear" and it serves as your fan uniform. If you don't wear it, you might as well be rooting for the other team.

And you better not wash any part of that outfit.

What are you trying to do? Scrub away the wins? Don't be stupid.

And let's not forget, if your team is winning, nobody can move.

Any change in the room might disrupt the cosmos and cause your kicker to blow the field goal. What? You don't know how satellites work. Or cosmos, for that matter.

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This week, Toronto Blue Jays slugger Jose Bautista instagrammed a photo of his recently acquired MLB "Lifetime Pass." These extremely rare and relatively unknown cards are issued by the commissioner's office "in appreciation of long and meritorious service" to the league.

These cards have been presented to players, umpires, scouts and other friends of MLB as far back as the 1930s, and grants owners and a guest access to any Major League baseball game as long as they live. They're essentially the coolest thing anyone could have in their wallet, even cooler than Bryce Harper's Chipotle For Life card. Here are a few shots of cards owned by some of the lucky few to get the privilege.

Jose Bautista — Baltimore Orioles, Tampa Bay Rays, Kansas City Royals, Pittsburgh Pirates, Toronto Blue Jays, 2004-Present

Source: instagram.com

E. Lee Ballanfant — National League Umpire, 1937-56

Source: legendaryauctions.com

Tony Giuliani — Scout for the Minnesota Twins

Source: monthly.scpauctions.com

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Via: San Francisco 49ers, File / AP

Levi's Stadium is massive, even though at this point it barely exists. You can actually see it rising from the distance when you're driving down 101 South in the Bay Area. Once you hit the Santa Clara city limits, crane your head back and to the left and find an opening between the tech buildings dotting that side of the freeway. The light stanchions in the distance are already unmistakeable. By the time it opens in the fall of 2014, it will have cost (an estimated) $1.2 billion and seat 68,500 fans. Every fan in the stadium will have Wi-Fi connectivity to all their devices, the field will be irrigated with recycled water, and solar paneling will make 49ers home games an energy-neutral endeavor. It's going to be a spectacular place for just about any conceivable event, and people here are ecstatic about its arrival.

NFL owners are also pretty ecstatic, apparently, and have now awarded Super Bowl L to the stadium, and January 2016 is now shaping up to a two-week party the likes of which the Bay Area has never seen. As this season's championship game set to be played at MetLife Stadium, across the river from New York City, the selection of the Bay Area means that two out of the next three Super Bowls will be played in open-air venues in non-tropical, non-desert locations that you might be interested in visiting for reasons other than "Super Bowl" or "bachelor party."

As a Bay Area partisan who's a football fan, I couldn't be happier. Visitors will get to check out the many tourist attractions of San Francisco proper, the wineries up north in Napa, and the old-town charm of places like Half Moon Bay, driving from surf-happy Pacifica, south of San Francisco, to the rolling hills of the East Bay or Muir Woods across the Golden Gate. There was palpable disappointment in these parts when the region blew its chance to bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics, but this is a hell of a second chance at showing that marquee events are no difficult task. With the world's foremost tech giants dotting the landscape for miles in each direction, the eyes of the sports world will be on little Santa Clara (population: 118,000).

The awarding of Super Bowl L has fulfilled a dream for many here, to show that Northern California can compete with any warm-weather car city when it comes to hosting world-class sporting events. Meanwhile, fans across the country should be happy about the NFL's willingness to spread the Bowl around to cities like San Francisco, New York, and Indianapolis, last season's host. (That you have to have a mega-expensive new taxpayer-subsidized stadium just to get your foot in the door...that's a different column.) For one, it means you might get to see a Super Bowl in your city. For another, it means that you can hope to someday take a trip to see your favorite team play for a title in a place that has attractions besides strip clubs and Jagermeister bars — for all the NFL's interest in being a sport for the whole family, they've certainly tended in the past to cater to their fratty core constituency by awarding Super Bowls to New Orleans and Miami whenever possible.

Besides, everyone likes to throw a party — not just the party towns.

Via: newsantaclarastadium.com

During a recent lingerie football game Chicago Bliss head coach Keith Hac got into an argument with a player who criticized him for confusing two plays.

Hac lashed out at the player in a pretty scary, sexualized way.

Watch the video here, which strangely the LFL is hosting on its own YouTube channel to promote the league's "intensity."

Source: youtube.com