Malia got a 73 on her science test, and Dad told the whole world. This is more humiliating than the time Mark Harmon made a Secret Service agent fake-date Mandy Moore. (Thanks, Forrest).

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The Best Links:

1. Related.

This is ripped straight from my dreams, if you trade Sarkozy and Zapatero for Putin and the Pope. Seriously: Zapatero, quite the hunk. (Many thanks to Videogum. )

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After a bunch of dummies in Maine (Buzzfeed superfan Joy Engel notwithstanding) voted against gay marriage yesterday, this clip from The Dana Carvey Show (featuring Carvey and Stephen Colbert) has been gaining popularity. Between lobsters, Stephen King, and that awesome scene from Maine-set In The Bedroom , we were really big fans of the state. Maine should take a trip to Iowa and cool off ):

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The Best Links:

1. via Gawker

Link: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/...

Voters in the ski resort town of Breckenridge, Colorado legalized marijuana and marijuana paraphernalia by a nearly three-to-one margin on Tuesday.

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Looks like somebody's been taking notes from the Governator .

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The Best Links:

1. Joke Stolen From Here

POLITICS BUZZ: An oldie but goodie from Fox News.

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The Best Links:

1. The 10 Best Things That Have Ever Happened Behind A News Reporter’s Back
2. The Anchorwomen of Fox News
3. NY News Anchor Ernie Arnastos Tells Weatherman to “Keep F***Ing That Chicken!”
4. via FAIL Blog

Scott Roeder - the man charged with the murder of abortion doctor George Tiller - had (until it was removed) an eBay auction of drawings by supporters in prison. The auction items are both pathetically juvenile and deeply, deeply scary. Here's a selection.

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The Best Links:

1. Anti-Abortion Extremists Auction Lurid Prison Art On eBay To Raise Money For Tiller Murder Suspect
2. eBay Auction For Scott Roeder’s Legal Defense | TPM Photo Galleries
3. EBay Removes Drawings That Glorify Slaying of Abortion Doctor George Tiller
4. George Tiller

Link: http://www.georgehutchins.com/

Personal highlights: Windsor Castle, “Stop Terrorists and Fake Republicans,” and the Jesse Helms cameo at the bottom. NC-4, you are a lucky “GOP district.” (Thanks, Jim.)

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Drudge has posted some photos of Barack Obama emerging from the gym, looking gaunt. Obama admits that he skips meals, exercises rigorously, while acknowledging his own skinniness. All those fatties in DC could use some thinspo!

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The Best Links:

1. David Cross Did Coke Next(ish) To Obama [PIC]
2. Active Man Too Thin? via The Awl

A million Koopa supporters turn out to support the koopa troopa army! Sure, it looks like only one, but the other 999,999 are just spread out.

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Shep Smith hangs reporter Shannon Bream out to dry after an interview about the New Jersey gubernatorial race. Looks like somebody's been taking all the recent attacks on Fox News pretty hard.

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Do you want a love like that of Michelle and Barack? Of course you do! They are totally perfect. Well, Michelle is in this month's Glamour telling you how to find the President of your Heart. “Cute's good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it's, 'Who are you as a person?' Don't look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. When you're dating a man, you should always feel good. … You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you completely happy and make you feel whole.” Awww, love!

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Check out the letter Arnold just sent to the California State Assembly giving his reasoning behind vetoing a financing bill. It's got a secret code in it! Arnold is the coolest/most juvenile governor ever. ( SFBG via Amanda .)

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The Best Links:

1. Arnold to SF: Fuck You
2. Gov. Schwarzenegger to Tom Ammiano & SF: F*ck You
3. Schwarzenegger “Fuck You”: Did Gov Send Lawmaker Obscene Message Through Acrostic Poem?

“Billionaires For Wealthcare” crashed a speech at an America's Health Insurance Plans (AHIP) conference, a powerful lobby against health reform. It's like Improv Everywhere with a heavy dose of snark.

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Link: http://eplay.typepad.com/eplay_online...

Say what? The Minnesota Supreme court overturned a lower court and says that 25 grams of bong water is considered a “drug mixture” under state law.

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One of the perks of being Senator of Minnesota is that you get to surround yourself with attractive women. I think it's in the state constitution or something.

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It says so right there in the email. Jake Tapper, where is your stupid Twitter when we kind-of mildly care?

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The Best Links:

1. via The Awl
2. also via DListed
3. and Gawker too

“The woman at my polling place asked me do I believe in equality for gay and lesbian people. I was pretty surprised to be asked a question like that. It made no sense to me. Finally I asked her: what do you think I fought for in Omaha Beach? “

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Not to be confused with the plain hula , which she can also do. I was running low on Kool-Aid so I'm glad they arranged this event.

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The Best Links:

1. Michelle Obama Does The Hula - Featured on BuzzFeed

This cute duck couple are the center of a political campaign calling for Open Primaries in British Parliament. They would never discuss building a nest out of excrement in an American political campaign video.

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The Best Links:

1. Watch the Other Open Up Duck Videos