CELEBRITY BUZZ: Ah, Young Hollywood. It’s stories like this that make us long for the days when troubled starlets were at least classy about their problems. You know the old story: some chick at a nightclub wore an $11,000 mink coat handed down to her from her grandmother, and before she knew it, it as gone! Then she saw pictures of Lindsay Lohan wearing the coat in a tabloid, thus realizing that she had to have stolen it because, in fact, she was sitting next to her in the club that very same evening. After contacting Lindsay’s lawyers, the coat was promptly returned to her apartment reeking of booze and cigarettes.

The Best Links:

1. Have You Ever Lost Your Coat at a Club and Spent Hours Sifting Through the Piles of Jackets With Only the Light of Your Cell Phone to See By, and Then Come Up Empty-handed Anyway? Well, This Story’s for You.
2. NY Post Takes The Story, Adds Some Puns, and Helps Further the Importance of Inconsequential Celebrity Scandal
3. “Everyone Knows You’re Supposed to Pawn That Shit Right Away.”
4. Is Her Life That Sad That She Needs to Get Her Kicks Snagging Other People’s Swag? Oh, right…She Was in “I Know Who Killed Me.”
5. How To Temper Your Envy of the Rich and Fabulous

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Actress, jewelry designer and now blogger, Trachtenberg’s star is on the rise. She’s mean and possibly psychotic on Gossip Girl, but her aw-shucks blog posts for Cosmopolitan are sickly sweet.

The Best Links:

1. Michelle Trachtenberg’s Inaugural Blog Post
2. Second Post on Cosmopolitan.com
3. Michelle Trachtenberg Blogs, Shills
4. Michelle Trachtenberg and Her Jewelry Line
5. Michelle Trachtenberg’s Career Thus Far
6. Breaking Down a Michelle Trachtenberg Outfit

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Rumors quickly swirled about Mariah Carey’s engagement to actor Nick Cannon, but apparently they’ve since been married at her home in the Bahamas. Twelve years Carey’s junior, Nick is excited to be gaining both a wife and — perhaps in enough time — a MILF.

The Best Links:

1. Mariah And Nick Cannon’s Whirwind Romance
2. Wedding Rumors Confirmed By …Nick’s Mom
3. Mimi’s Ring: “58 Intense Pink Diamonds and 2 Half-Moon Diamonds” [All Class]
4. “These Two Kids Have Nothing But 800 Million Dollars and a Heart Filled With Love”
5. For Our Readers Who Don’t Watch Nickelodeon, Here’s the Scoop On Nick Cannon

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Whitney Houston’s 15-year-old daughter tries to stab Whitney during an argument, then attempts to kill herself by slashing her wrists. Wayward children of crackhead parents make for great reality television! I’d much rather watch a show about a rebellious teenager than a washed-up R&B star any day.

The Best Links:

1. Pics: Bobbi Kristina Brown is 13 and smoking weed
2. Is This Going to Be On the Next Episode of “Being Bobby Brown”?
3. She’ll Probably Be Dead by the Time She’s 21
4. Bobbi Kristina Is Going to the Psych Ward
5. Bobbi, What Are You Smoking?

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: The sultry Lebanese singer makes headlines for being banned from performing in Bahrain. Bahrain’s parliament was worried about the effect her exposed flesh might have on the public and passed a motion to stop her show. Oddly, she went ahead and performed anyway, albeit in a long, none-too-revealing gown.

The Best Links:

1. “Lebanese Singer Causes Gulf Storm”
2. What is Up With Those Ticket Prices??
3. Haifa Went Ahead and Performed, Wearing a More Modest Outfit
4. Wehbe Flouted Ban; Mostly Families Attend Her Show

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Websites devoted to tracking the weird semi-public figures in a city near you. Taking the character you see on the way to work every morning and elevating him or her to the level of semi-celebrity, tracking local eccentrics via the web is a special sub-genre of internet famous.

The Best Links:

1. 23 More of New York’s Most Visible, And Possibly Insane, Eccentrics
2. Though He’s Not Actually Naked, They Call Him the Naked Cowboy
3. Keeping Tabs on Seattle’s Notables, Where’er They May Be
4. Tracking He Man in NYC
5. Local Urban Color Goes 2.0-y
6. Toronto’s Muscle-Bound Zanta
7. Seattle’s “Where’s Slats?” Forum
8. Frank Chu / 12 galaxies interview
9. Telstar Logistics: 12 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Frank Chu

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Pics surface of Amy Smart topless with electrical tape over her nipples while shooting the movie Crank 2. Amy Smart gets inducted into the hot girls club! I kind of always thought she was special since first seeing her in that scene of Varsity Blues where she talks about her period.

The Best Links:

1. Lots More High-Res Photos
2. Gaffer Tape On Nipples Remains a Mystery
3. “…reminds me of every hipster event I’ve accidentally walked into”
4. Pics!
5. Why Would They Cover Up Those Beautiful Nipples??!
6. I Never Got the Appeal of Amy Smart
7. Amy Smart Almost Topless for Crank Sequel

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: The front door to her apartment plays a weirdly central character in the photographic life of Amy Winehouse. It’s always popping up in paparazzi photos - that doorway has seen more in the last six months than most people see their whole lives.

The Best Links:

1. Peekaboo, I See You!
2. ‘Allo Guvn’r, Like Me Hickey?
3. You Rang?
4. The Ghost of Back Doors Past
5. And the Ghost of Bras Past, Too

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Lohan is at work on a third album that includes collaborations with Snoop Dog, Pharrell and Timbaland. Whether this is a desperate attempt to find a way to create revenue for the un-insurable actress or just a contractual obligation, the album is bound to be a guilty pleasure. I’m hoping she draws some influence from that mix-tape Devendra Banhart made her.

The Best Links:

1. Lindsay Lohan and … Snoop Dogg?
2. “LiLo Cuts One with Snoop”
3. Lindsay Lohan is reportedly working on her new album alongside Snoop Dogg
4. Snoop Dogg Lindsay Lohan Song
5. Lindsay Lohan: ‘I’m Back on Track’
6. Lindsay Lohan “Nobody’s Angel” Album Just a Contractual Obligation
7. Devendra Banhart Makes Lindsay Lohan A Mixtape

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Gen X is poised for a vicarious mid-life crisis as their favorite pop stars all turn 50 this year. We all know that the Rolling Stones are rockin’ their golden years. But now a new generation can lament the graying of their childhood icons. All three stars still look good, but Michael Jackson looks freakin’ AMAZING. Must be the oxygen tent and youthful lifestyle.

The Best Links:

1. “Only in the Rock Genre Does the Ageing Process Make the Public Feel Uncomfortable”
2. Famous, Fabulous, and Fifty T-Shirt!
3. Rex Spotted This One First
4. “Rock’n’roll…has never figured out what to do with ageing deities”
5. Why Listeners Only Want “The Early Stuff”
6. Micheal Jackson’s Face Through The Years (Classic Video)

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