This kid's got a busy day ahead of him. Somebody get him some breasts for his ten-o-clock appointment.

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Last week, a Direct TV ad featuring a dead Chris Farley was met with a lot of negative attention. This week, Landline TV brings us some more ads featuring dead celebrities.

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The Best Links:

1. Via FilmDrunk

The video of Todd Jamison's car getting crushed in the world's worst parking attempt got over a million views on YouTube. [ Ed Note : But there's a happy ending! Also, some nifty little marketing on the part of Hyundai.]

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The Best Links:

1. Terrible Parker in Viral Video Charged
2. Epic Parking Fail Video

Yup. You can now purchase caskets online at Walmart .

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The Best Links:

1. Beginning at $999 for lower-end models, all 27 caskets in the Walmart online inventory cost less than $2,000, except the “Sienna Bronze Casket,” which sells for $3,199

Link: http://www.charmin.com/en_US/enjoy-th...

Charmin is trying to find five, super-enthusiastic greeters to entertain bathroom guests at their public Times Square bathrooms, and then blog about the experience. For $10,000. Prerequisite: “All candidates must really, really enjoy going to the bathroom.” Actually, an even better job would be the person who gets to interview all the candidates about why they enjoy going to the bathroom. That would pretty much make the best blog ever.

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BUSINESS BUZZ: You are getting sleepy, very sleepy. Baby seals and bare breasts will hypnotize you into buying some work boots.

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The Best Links:

1. via copyranter: Is this the most insane TV spot ever produced?

Subway is the largest fast food franchise in the country. It's even bigger than McDonalds . The farthest point a person can be from a Subway is between the towns of Austin and Eureka. 138 miles to be exact. Also, Nevada is the most Subway-less state.

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The Best Links:

1. Distance From McDonalds
2. The East and the Mid-West have bred their Subways like incestuous hillbillies in such numbers that the red dots overlap each other in a furious storm.

I guess drunkenly begging people for money, then hitting on their girlfriends could count as a business model, right?

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The new threat to global security??? This amazing photo comes via the New York Times and depicts an angry European dairy farmer using a CUP. I hope this makes it into the history books as the most epic food fight of all time.

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The Best Links:

1. Angry Farmers Extreme Food Fight on the Streets of Brussels

To start a small, niche business, you need an intimate understanding on how the internet and legal system work.

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This is a real live Wall Street Journal ad from once upon a time. I think I liked old WSJ subscribers a lot more than the current ones. (Thanks to Copyranter. )

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WTF is no longer synonymous with the Wisconsin Tourism Federation. Sadly, TFW just doesn't have the same ring.

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The Best Links:

1. Wisconsin Tourism Federation Desperately Needs to Update Their Website
2. Other, Less Common Uses for WTF
3. Wisconsin Tourism Federation loses to WTF via Boing Boing

I swear this guy has a boner circa :38. Also be sure to check out Asians simulating an iGallop simulating a horse ride . It's Texas in Japan!

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The Best Links:

1. YouTube - Cat Riding an iGallop

A half-finished Filene's in Boston may be turned into a building to harbor algae for Bio-Fuel. Is it a transformer?

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The Best Links:

1. Attack of the Algae: The Latest Trend in Eco-Architecture
2. Filene’s Eco Pods is an Adaptable, Biofuel-Producing Building
3. Bio-Fuel Growing Eco Pods Rejuvenate Stalled Boston Project

The Puma Index is a new iPhone app from Puma that features models who wear fewer and fewer clothes as the stock market does worse. I suppose it couldn't hurt for the recession to continue for a little while longer, right?

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The Best Links:

1. Via YesButNoButYes

Colgate decided to get sneaky with their advertising by putting wooden toothbrushes inside sweets like ice cream bars and candy in order to promote oral hygiene.

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The Yes Men are back, and SurvivaBall is nothing less than a self-contained living system—truly, a gated community for one. If you have a SurvivaBall, even if everyone else is dying, at least you can weather all storms. ( via )

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The Best Links:

1. HBO Documentaries: The Yes Men Fix the World
2. More From The Yes Men: Iraq War Ends!

Dollar menu in, dollar menu out.

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Maybe this is a standard practice I don't know about, but Jesus. I am going to have credit score nightmares for the next week.

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The Best Links:

1. Originally from Post Secret (as noted)
2. via YepYep

BUSINESS BUZZ: The Walt Disney Co. (DIS-N26.08-0.76-2.83%) said Monday it is buying Marvel Entertainment Inc. (MVL-N48.589.9325.69%) for $4-billion (U.S.) in cash and stock, bringing characters like Iron Man and Spider-Man into the family of Mickey Mouse and WALL-E.

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The Best Links:

1. Disney Buys Marvel for $4 billion
2. Disney to Acquire Marvel Entertainment
3. SHOCKER! Disney Buying Marvel For $4B!