Nordstrom takes a rare, noble stand against the hateful Santa infestation that is soon to be upon us. There's very little that's more depressing to me than the first $%#@ing Christmas carol of November.
Shiny Suds give the impression of clean, and then they get to watch you get clean. I know Method is trying to prove a point here, but these bubble-dudes seem alright. Loofah! Loofah! Loofah!
Guantánamo Bay has a McDonalds? Apparently so, and they're looking for a new assistant manager. Don't ask what happened to the last one.
For all you broke-ass folk, Toby Jones is a lawyer who will also watch your kids for one prepaid cheap-ass price. My favorite part is when he explains what “prepaid” means. Unfortunately, his services are only available in Oak Brook, Illinois.
For some reason, this Fruit by the Foot commercial really speaks to me. It's nice to see a commercial for a kids' food featuring kids that are obviously stoned.
http://guestofaguest.com/news/breaking/breaking-the-email... ![[link]](http://s2.buzzfeed.com/static/images/public/icons/external-link2.png){kind=icon}
Cornell Business School Tech Consultant, John X (no relation to Malcolm), accidentally sent out his illicit correspondence with mistress Lisa to the whole campus. If my school's campus-wide emails were this good, I might actually read them.
http://billionairexchange.com/
An online site auctioning luxury assets is the eBay for rich people. Finally! It's so nice to have a site that weeds out stuff like this when I'm eBay searching for yachts.
This would have been my dream job when I was 8, but I'm not sure I have the skill-set to really excel at this position now that I am an adult.
A delightfully passive-aggressive copy editor at the Toronto Star marked up this memo announcing the elimination of copy-editing jobs at the Toronto Star. Ha/man, grammar people are anal.
This kid's got a busy day ahead of him. Somebody get him some breasts for his ten-o-clock appointment.
Last week, a Direct TV ad featuring a dead Chris Farley was met with a lot of negative attention. This week, Landline TV brings us some more ads featuring dead celebrities.
The video of Todd Jamison's car getting crushed in the world's worst parking attempt got over a million views on YouTube. [Ed Note: But there's a happy ending! Also, some nifty little marketing on the part of Hyundai.]
http://www.charmin.com/en_US/enjoy-the-go/index.php
Charmin is trying to find five, super-enthusiastic greeters to entertain bathroom guests at their public Times Square bathrooms, and then blog about the experience. For $10,000. Prerequisite: “All candidates must really, really enjoy going to the bathroom.” Actually, an even better job would be the person who gets to interview all the candidates about why they enjoy going to the bathroom. That would pretty much make the best blog ever.
Business Buzz You are getting sleepy, very sleepy. Baby seals and bare breasts will hypnotize you into buying some work boots.
Subway is the largest fast food franchise in the country. It's even bigger than McDonalds. The farthest point a person can be from a Subway is between the towns of Austin and Eureka. 138 miles to be exact. Also, Nevada is the most Subway-less state.
I guess drunkenly begging people for money, then hitting on their girlfriends could count as a business model, right?
The new threat to global security??? This amazing photo comes via the New York Times and depicts an angry European dairy farmer using a CUP. I hope this makes it into the history books as the most epic food fight of all time.
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A tribute to the best D&D book of all time.
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