1. The Raven
He could tell you about your dead girlfriend, but he just doesn’t feel like it right now.
Whatever makes you more interesting than this guy, Macbeth…
3. The Great Gatsby
Gonna go ahead and guess things would’ve turned out differently in this version…
4. The Hunger Games
Don’t act like you already thought of this.
5. The Lovely Bones
6. This Bear as Romeo
7. This other bear competing for the role of Romeo
8. A third bear emphasizing his Romeo-ness
9. This monkey who eventually landed the role of Romeo
10. Animal Farm
11. Fifty Shades of Grey
12. Poe, Dickens, and Woolf
That party would be cray cray.
13. Julius Caesar
That’s a relief.
14. The Cask of Amontillado
Because I buried him alive in a wall…
15. A Christmas Carol
Because they’ll pay for your Christmas dinner.
16. Where’s Waldo?
17. The Tell-Tale Heart
Because Eeyore was such a downer anyway.
Ophelia doesn’t have time for your shit Hamlet, she’s trying to drown.
19. Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Seriously bro, why did you do that?
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