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Santa, You Naughty Bastard

Lindsay Lohan has nothing on the North Pole’s number one bad boy. When we all thought he was riding around in his sleigh bringing joy to the world, he was in fact indulging in lawless, boozey tomfoolery. The evidence is here!

When Santa isn’t crushing your dreams and stepping on your face…

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he’s chain smoking Pall Malls…

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and Chesterfields…

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and a pipe.

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He also has a penchant for whiskey gingers…

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and Hennessy…

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and Bud.

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Christmas Eve is just another all-nighter…

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and it can get violent.

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So shhh, don’t tell your parents.

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Because Mr. T has an insatiable appetite for milk and cookies.

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