1.
When his nipples were a mystery to us all:
2.
When he used a line that was both creepy and adorable:
3.
When he couldn't handle "poor people" wood for even one second:
4.
When he revealed some truths from his past.
5.
When he was too Schmidt for his own good:
6.
...like, really Schmidt:
7.
When he tried so, so hard to remember a word:
8.
When he just wanted to chill in his 'mono:
9.
When he couldn't handle the troubles of the world:
10.
And when those troubles hurt his heart, but he didn't have any time for sympathy:
11.
When he desperately needed to know how big Nick's penis was:
12.
When he was completely, 100% into himself:
13.
When he was super, super excited about sex:
15.
When his Winston insults were on point:
16.
When he confessed his true, unadulterated love for delicious fruit condiments:
17.
And that he does more than eat it:
18.
When he made excellent use of his own name.
19.
When he gave himself a much-needed pep talk:
20.
When he told Cece just how great it is to have sex with him:
21.
When he revealed the life lessons he learned in his childhood:
22.
When he talked about the super-specific pants that he owns:
23.
When he threw some cell phone shade:
24.
And when he complained about his favorite thing to complain about:
