Replacements For The Pope

With Pope Benedict XVI having retired this morning, I take a look at who I think should succeed him as the leader of the Catholics.

1. “Weekend Update’s” Father Guido Sarducci

“Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents. It doesn’t seem like much, but it adds up.”

2. The Space Pope from “Futurama”

He takes a conservative view on robot-human relationships.

3. Sinead O’ Connor as Pope

Let’s she if she does a better job.

4. Fake Pope Tweets

Don’t retweet his tweets if you ain’t following him.

5. Jim Gaffigan as Pope

“You think when the Pope was a little kid, he’d fantasize about eventually becoming Pope? Y’know, like we might about being a professional athlete? Was he eight years old in his backyard going, ‘There he is, the leader of all the catholics!’ (cheers) ‘What a Pope! The best Pope ever!’ (Cheers) The protestants are frightened of this new Pope!”

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