1. Bieber Has the “Worst” Birthday Ever
There must have been a death in the family, a sudden loss of all savings, but even worse…say it isnt so?! He had to actually respect the law, and that, THAT, is the main reason he had the worst birthday ever. His underage friends, including FOURTEEN year old Jaden Smith, were reportedly denied entrance to a London club. Oh, Biebs, you poor soul.
2. Bieber Says Goodbye to His Pet Monkey
Germany, acting as the monkey CPS at the time, had to do their civic duty.
3. This Hat and His Drinking Method
Segways and leather pants with an extremely low crotch complete with a complementary leather bandana really turn a woman on.
5. Calling Anne Frank a “Belieber”
“Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.”
6. He Wins the First EVER “Milestone Award”
CeeLo Green was even speechless after announcing the achievement at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards. The Biebs beat out Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift. After his name was announced, the arena erupted in booing and hissing…super awk…He then proceeded to say in his leather low crotch pants, “this is not a gimmick, this is not a gimmick. I’m an artist, and I should be taken seriously. All this other bull should not be spoken of.”
7. He Cusses Out A Picture of Bill Clinton While Urinating
JBiebs decided that a mop bucket was the best option to relieve himself, and hey, why not shame a US President in the process. Seems understandable, right? Bieber yelled F—k Bill Clinton, and someone got it all on tape….oops
8. Biebs Visits A Brothel, and Tries to Look Like a Ghost
He could literally get ANY Belieber out there, and he chooses to go to a brothel. Also, hiding under a white sheet is the perfect disguise. No one will ever know.
9. Biebs Announces His Retirement….Wait…That’s Bad?
On Christmas Eve, Justin announced on twitter “My beloved beliebers I’m officially retiring.” Joy to the world. He needs a little R&R after all that swag.
10. He Eggs a Neighbor’s House
And by egged, I mean cause $20,000 worth of damage.
11. He Gets Arrested, Drag Racing in a Ferrari
I guess his CSI role hinted at something in his near future. After driving without a licensee, driving under the influence, drag racing, and some more goodies, he gets out on bail, and then makes ANOTHER mistake.
12. Comparing Himself to Michael Jackson
They can say a lot more JBiebs…Alright so maybe this is his last tooly move for a while…
13. WRONG: This
Oh isn’t modern technology wonderful? Nothing like taking pictures with friends biting the nipple of a stripper who has giant fake breasts and a playboy bunny tattoo. It’s all good clean fun right?