1. "You have something on your face."
Response: "I was turning into a woman. Deal with it."
2. "You look like you're babysitting your friends."
Response: "Oh, I'm not (but my boobs appeared early)."
3. "You're the vice president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee."
Response: "He got bit by a rabid dog the next week. So, karma is a BITCH."
4. "Flat as a stick."
Response: "My boobs are still small, so I don't have to wear a bra all the time!!!"
5. "Can I touch your Buddha belly?"
Response: "I think you meant, 'Can I caress your six-pack abs?'"
6. "You're too short."
Response: "But I still get away with the kids menu."
7. "Why are your eyes shaped like that?"
Response: "Don't talk to me."
8. "You have such short eyelashes."
Response: "WTF, WHO CARES?"
9. "No one likes you because you're an ugly, pimply, man-whore."
Response: "Bitch, I'm flawless."
10. "Your thighs are FAT."
Response: "I <3 my thighs...and you're mean!"
11. "You have such a FAT BUTT!"
Response: "In 2015, you'll wish you did, too."
12. "Time to feed the cow." (They threw fries at me while saying this.)
Response: "I still love fries so screw you! Plus, being chubby forced me to get a personality so THANKS!!!"
13. "Bag of bones."
Response: "Dude, I was in FOURTH GRADE." (It was my friend's mom who said it.)
14. "That dress makes you look fat."
Response: "What? I can't hear you over the bag of chips I'm about to eat. Fuck off!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
15. "What's that thing on your neck? Did you try to kill yourself?"
Response: "It's a scar from a birthmark, you jerk." (Also, RUDE and really insensitive.)
16. "Fat bitch."
Response: "FUCK YOU."
17. "Pardon my saying it, but you look like a f*cking elephant."
Response: "Under no circumstances would I pardon you saying that."
18. "I can see your ribs... You look disgusting."
Response: "These ribs protect my heart... A heart that you clearly don't have."