my parents made me a contract when I was 12
1. The ABCs means something completely different to you.
2. Because your parents are such talented talkers, you can successfully hold a conversation with anyone without asking about the weather.
3. You know that if something’s not put in writing, it never happened.
4. Your parents are so good at following up on leads that they are basically detectives.
5. Your personal essay for college was flawless.
6. You know how to nail a persuasive speech for public speaking, no matter the subject.
7. When you go on interviews, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” is more or less your gospel.
8. After every interview, you bet your ass that your perspective employer has a followup email or handwritten note from you in his or her inbox…
9. … Along with a phone call within a 48 hours of your interview.
10. You basically know Wall Street and Glengarry Glen Ross by heart, whether you want to or not.
Oh great, it’s on HBO… again.
11. You had the perfect sales pitch for Girl Scout Cookies or Boy Scout Popcorn.
12. When the school-wide fundraising competition rolled around, losing was not an option.
13. Every time you see the cold calling scene in Wolf of Wall Street, you can’t help but think of your childhood.
14. You can see through bullshit and read anyone like a book.
15. You know a business card should be on you at all times.
16. Almost everything is open to negotiation.
Persistence and determination are your way of life.
17. It takes a lot for you to trust people.
Because everyone’s always trying to sell something.