Applying to jobs today
1. Assuming you need to have a job waiting for you the day after you graduate.
2. Or assuming a job will just come to you.
You better work.
3. Talking way too much about the single struggle.
There’s a whole new world out there…
4. Or the “where is this relationship going” struggle.
Do you really want to be married with two kids right now?
5. Thinking you’re a failure for moving back home.
6. Thinking your life is over now that college is becoming a distant memory.
Welp, I guess it’s just 80 years of sobbing from here on out.
7. Being way too picky about the job search.
Sorry, everyone has to start somewhere, and it’s rarely at the top.
8. Trying to move to a city where all your friends are going.
But lemme ask you this: What would happen if they all jumped off a bridge?
9. Pretending your paycheck is twice as big as it actually is.
10. Not recognizing the difference between work friendships and social friendships.
THERE IS STILL A LINE.
11. Refusing to face the responsibility that comes with being an adult.
AKA cleaning, managing money, living.
12. Relying on takeout as your primary source of food, resulting in some weight gained.
13. Assuming your first job determines what your path will be for the rest of your life.
14. Letting work take over your life and bringing your exercise routine to a complete halt.
TBH, it’s not the freshman 15, it’s the post-grad 15.
15. Partying a little too hard on a week night.
It’s called work for a reason.
16. Dressing like you’re still in college.
17. Being afraid to make friends at work.
Who knows, you might get a much-needed mentor out of it.
18. Spending too much time stalking former classmates on social media…
…because everything on there tells the whole story AMIRITE?!
19. …Then comparing your place in life to theirs, resulting in unnecessary sulking.
You’re a fucking winner.
20. Not learning how to cook at least three decent meals.
21. Spending $3 on a latte every day rather than saving it.
SAVE. YOUR. DAMN. MONEY.