1. A "good" sign of being pregnant is vomiting. All. The. Time.
Dear God, no.
3. Raging hormones.
4. You may have insane food cravings, but proceed to throw up once you get a whiff of what you crave.
5. Your body holds a tiny, fragile alien baby for nine months.
6. Your body can become so swollen during pregnancy, you manage to even outgrow all your shoes.
7. Your body might freak the hell out and do unimaginable things.
Ever heard of diastasis recti? Your abs basically split apart to make room for the baby. Mucus plug and episiotomy become things you can't unsee.
8. Before going into actual labor, you can experience Braxton-Hicks contractions just 'cause your body just feels like practicing for the real thing.
9. Can we just talk about the horrific gory mess that happens to you when giving birth to a child?
Straight out of a Wes Craven movie.
10. Your S.O. and countless people will have a front-row seat to look all up in your junk for hours on end.
11. Let's not forget the pain that comes with giving birth.
Oh, and you may or may not poop your pants while it's happening.
12. After all the fun and games are over, you then have to give birth to your placenta after the baby is out.
13. You are given the unavoidable gift of postpartum bleeding after birth.
14. Baby poop is so forceful, not even the strongest diaper can hold it.
15. Speaking of bodily functions, babies throw up all over you and you just have to take it.
16. Babies are essentially crawling tornadoes.
17. The thought of not geting any sleep the first six months is petrifying.
18. They are hungry 24/7 and wreak havoc on your body.
19. Their tiny screams reach decibels unknown to the human ears.
Head exploding in 3... 2...
20. Trips will no longer consist of just hopping in the car and going.
21. Something is almost guaranteed to come out of babies one way or the other after they eat.
22. The baby weight takes months, if not years, to take off.
23. "Baby" language seems incredibly difficult to read.
If they aren't tired, hungry, or need a diaper change, what do they want?!
24. You will be solely responsible for the life of a tiny human being.
25. And its happiness depends on you as a parent.
They are pretty damn cute though.
All hail the brave parents who come out of this alive and are even ready for another one.
