1. After everyone read Lord of the Flies, EVERYONE started saying “sucks to your assmar” to you.
If I hear that one more time…
2. High altitudes are your worst enemy.
3. People have called you “Lil Wheezy” or “Puff Daddy.”
4. You will always lose competitions where people hold their breaths.
6. You’re embarrassed to run with people, because someone will always ask if you need a break.
7. You can’t look at birthday candles the same way again after the nearly impossible spirometer test for asthma.
8. For Halloween, people ask you for your inhaler if they’re playing a “nerdy” character.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU WANT TO BE OSGOOD.
9. You’ve had an asthma attack in front of a group of at least 10 people.
10. You’ve got to GTFO anytime you stroll into a smoky bar.
11. When you think of how many people you’ve made out with, your inhaler might as well count.
12. Asthma attacks have just randomly occurred for no reason at the worst times.
13. When said asthma attack occurs, no one knows what to do.
“Just calm down and breathe.” NO PROBLEM.
14. Nebulizers have forced you to sit and ponder life many a time.
15. Friends have asked you if asthma’s really a thing.
16. You’ve learned not to get too excited about things.
17. You know every inhaler on the market.
Albuterol, Advair, Symbicort…
18. Everytime you hear “No Air,” you’re reminded of your breathing problem.
So like… everyday?
20. Humidity is a bitch.
Thanks for making the air EVEN THICKER.
21. There are certain days where YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN GO OUTSIDE.
But, although it’s a nightmare and horribly frustrating…
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