1. You break out in a sweat every time you hear “pizza party.”
Just one bite.
2. Your inner animal is a sloth.
“They have very low metabolic rates (less than half of that expected for a
creature of their size),” via this handy Sloth Fact Sheet.
3. “Cheating” on a diet means completely unraveling weeks of work.
4. You were never allowed to eat junk food as a child, and if you did, you immediately faced the consequences.
5. You were convinced you were “big boned” in grade school.
6. You could never enjoy the salty, crunchy deliciousness of these without becoming bloated.
8. Losing weight takes an eternity, but gaining takes hours.
9. You’re still waiting on that growth spurt.
11. You’ve never understood people that can eat anything and remain naturally skinny.
12. You find yourself counting calories way too often.
13. Seeing skinny people makes you hungrier, because you’ve accepted the fact that you need to enjoy life.
14. This enrages you.
16. You don’t get the people that can drink heavily every night and remain unaffected.
17. You’ve grown used to ordering “skinny” drinks to keep up.
18. You’ve tried every metabolism booster in the book.
19. You regularly had to attend exercise class with you mom. Recess wasn’t enough.
20. You’re sick of people telling you “slow metabolisms don’t exist.”
21. You don’t understand people that eat horribly and pass their physical with flying colors.
22. You’ve been told high cholesterol and high blood pressure are things to “watch out for.”
…but just remember when everyone else’s metabolisms start to slow down, you’ll be prepared.
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