The Presidential Announcement Roll-Out

John McCain warns that he’s going to run for President. It’s like the grand entrance on My Super Sweet Sixteen but slightly more anti-climactic. People just don’t care unless you take your sweeeeeet ass time to do something they know you’re going to do anyway. Whoever announces their candidacy in 12 steps or less wins!

Here Are The Top Stories
  • Greece will decide on Sunday whether they will accept austerity measures as a condition of a bailout that may stave off an imminent financial and economic crisis.
  • Some 150 migrants stranded in the French city of Calais stormed the Channel Tunnel in an attempt to make it to British territory.
  • It took a while, but an English national soccer team has finally defeated Germany in a major tournament. England took third place with a 1-0 win over the top-ranked German team in the FIFA Women's World Cup ⚽️
  • Chile defeated Argentina on penalties to win the Copa America tournament. It's the first ever trophy for Chile in the 99 years of the Copa ⚽️
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