The Presidential Announcement Roll-Out

John McCain warns that he’s going to run for President. It’s like the grand entrance on My Super Sweet Sixteen but slightly more anti-climactic. People just don’t care unless you take your sweeeeeet ass time to do something they know you’re going to do anyway. Whoever announces their candidacy in 12 steps or less wins!

Here Are The Top Stories
  • Greece's finance minister has resigned following an overwhelming "no" vote on new austerity measures tied to further bailout funds. The country's future in the eurozone is uncertain.
  • The South Carolina Senate is debating a bill calling for the removal of the Confederate battle flag from statehouse grounds.
  • More than 1 million people are expected to attend Pope Francis' mass in Ecuador on Monday.
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