Avast! Being a pirate's not the romantic profession it once was. Speed boats instead of schooners, rocket launchers instead of canons. No wonder worldwide pirate attacks have been on the decline!
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.