Hook Up, Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Couples are engaging in Don't Ask, Don't Tell relationships in which both people can pursue late night nookie and drunken hookups with others as long as they don't tell their partner about it.

But reports indicate that only 2.8% of all American males are mature and self-confident enough to handle such an arrangement for more than an evening. Better think up a Plan B, Romeo.

Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.