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<title>Tears of a President</title>
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<title>Rumsfeld Gets Totally Depressed when Reading about Civil War, Has to Switch to WWII</title>
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<title>Rumsfeld Bids Farewell to His Pentagon Employees</title>
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<title>Gay Governor Delivers Somber Emo Farewell Speech</title>
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<title>Defense Secretary Tears Up Thinking of Iraq Quagmire, Has Actual Feelings</title>
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<title>Rick Santorum&#x27;s Daughter Mourns Her Father&#x27;s Loss </title>
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<title>Bush Sr. Gets Consoled by Jeb</title>
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<title>&#x22;You&#x27;re Crying Over the WRONG SON&#x22;</title>
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<title>Republican Senator Gets All Emo on the Senate Floor, Saying &#x22;Tactics Have Failed&#x22;</title>
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