Clean Skins

Michael Chertoff, the Head of Homeland Security, said the US needs further protection from so-called “clean skins,” who are British Muslims with evil intent and clean records. Beware of the Brits! Perhaps they’re testy after we started this whole NY vs London thing? We’re willing to concede the title of “Cultural Epicenter” as long as we get to keep “Best Nightlife.”

Here Are The Top Stories
  • Two people on a civilian airplane were killed in a mid-air collision with a military jet in South Carolina. The F-16 jet pilot was ejected and is "in good shape."
  • Subway has suspended Jared Fogle, the weight-loss guy from their commercials, due to an FBI investigation.
  • Bounce TV and BET will no longer air series featuring Bill Cosby after court records showed he admitted to buying sedatives to give to women.
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