Apple Snares Charlie Sheen As Corporate Spokesperson
Leaping at the opportunity, Apple has signed the suddenly unemployed Charlie Sheen to be the new face of the company. His official title will be Presentation Czar.
At a press conference introducing Sheen, acting CEO Tim Cook looked like the cat that just swallowed the canary.
“When we see a problem at Apple, we fix it,” said Cook. “The fact is, Steve is on leave. That leaves us short on personality. Charlie’s self-centered, addictive behaviors — and his need to periodically implode — make him a perfect fit for us.”
“F*****’ A,” said an upbeat Charlie Sheen. “From what I can tell, there aren’t nearly as many diseased maggots in Apple as there are in the TV world. Plus, the Apple chicks are just frikkin’ hot.”
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