2. Texting and walking makes for a wet and wild day at the mall.
5. Have you ever spent an afternoon “phone wandering” around your apartment?
7. Do not take pictures of the wildlife.
Or they will steal your phone.
9. You are trapped forever in a continuum of Snapchat notifications.
11. Because no matter how the selfie turns out, you look like this to everyone else.
12. A microwave will reveal the demon inside your phone. Its name is Distraction, and it feeds on your attention.
Not convinced? Perhaps Rhett & Link will sway you with this musical number.
For maximum irony, watch this on your phone.