1. Really? REALLY?!
2. Texting and walking makes for a wet and wild day at the mall.
3. Use it and lose it.
4. In this day and age, authority figures show no mercy.
5. Have you ever spent an afternoon "phone wandering" around your apartment?
6. He just had to Instagram this precious moment.
7. Do not take pictures of the wildlife.
8. That goes double for animals kept in captivity.
9. You are trapped forever in a continuum of Snapchat notifications.
10. The bicycle thief.
11. Because no matter how the selfie turns out, you look like this to everyone else.
12. A microwave will reveal the demon inside your phone. Its name is Distraction, and it feeds on your attention.
Not convinced? Perhaps Rhett & Link will sway you with this musical number.
View this video on YouTube
For maximum irony, watch this on your phone.