Just how does he think the shooting of Taliban fighters gets paid for? Maybe he's got his own attack helicopter, and he guns them down from the air, Sarah Palin-style.
A fantasy league with a difference. Instead of rewarding points for goals, clean sheets and assits, you get your players points for diving, shirt-tugging, time-wasting, invisible card waving and hand-balls, with bonus points for Cheat of the Match.
Pope Benedict XVI has been given a lot of flack lately, but in all of this it's important not to forget what the man is actually good at: looking absolutely bloodcurdlingly godawfully creepy. Here's a selection of some of Benny's greatest hits, did I forget any?
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