All side dishes need to be prepared by the real cooks in the family. Meaning people who can’t make potato salad, spaghetti, baked beans, stay out! Otherwise a fight will break out. Black folks take their food seriously.
Bring Something! You can’t come to a black family gathering with nothing in hand. If you can’t cook, bring paper plates, cups, forks, spoons, knifes, pop, water, something! Otherwise you’re going to get the side-eye of your life…
Watch Your Kids
No one wants to be around disrespectful-climbing-the-furniture-snot-nose kids especially when their mama and daddy are in the same vicinity. Just because you feeding your face that doesn’t mean you get a free pass not to watch your little crumb-snatchers
…In Case You Didn’t Get The Memo, There’s No Babysitters Here!
Just because your mama and em is there, that doesn’t mean that the family get-togethers is now grand central station for baby-sitting. When you leave, they leave.
No Hip-Hop, Only Old School
There’s always one person in the family that is an extreme music head, meaning they got every cd, records(yes, records) on deck and they insist on being the the deejay at all get-togethers. You don’t have to worry about hearing Jay-Z or LIL Wayne at the party because nine times out of ten you’re going to hear this:
Don’t Take A Lot of Food Home Especially If You Didn’t Bring Anything
This is self-explanatory. You just don’t come to someone’s get-together(a black one at that) empty-handed and leave with about three bags of food for your bad kids and that significant other no one likes. You just don’t. And don’t be surprised when you get cussed out by some of your family members. Because at these events someone always do