20. “I’ve never been with a black girl.”
It’s always said in this excited and curious, yet braggadocios, way as if some great honor is being bequeathed onto you by merely being allowed in the presence of one as esteemed and great as he. There is also a peculiar air of danger and inexplicable illegality that accompanies the mood….
19. “I bet you know how to twerk!”
For some reason this makes perfect sense to them, it’s practically
But I respond like
and they look like
18. ” I bet you’re a freak.”
To which a simple side-eye is given.
17. “Is your name Shaneeekanaynay?”
“I made a funny!!”
To which I say
16. “MMM, THOSE LIPS LOOK DELICIOUS. MMMMMMMMMMMM!”
As if that is an appropriate, or welcome, alternative to hey. So react accordingly.
Stare at them like the perverted creeper they are.
15. “You’re really pretty for a black girl.”
What I want to do when I hear that.
What I actually do.
14. “You seriously don’t twerk???”
No. Why is this so hard for you to understand?
13. “You look just like Brandy!”
Have you ever seen Brandy?
Tell me again how I look like her?
12. “Don’t get ghetto on me gurrrlll!”
Since when was saying you’re not a fan of 2Chainz because his lyrics lack depth and his songs in general are asinine, “ghetto”?
However, you know what is meant and ultimately feel like
11. “I don’t really date black girls, but you never know.”
Am I supposed to feel special now?
Thanks Gaga, but we all know the answer is that you won’t be dating this one.
10. “You got a BIG OL’ GHETTO BOOTY!” (Regardless of the size of your posterior)
Really, why? I’d like an answer.
9. “How are you a black girl that doesn’t twerk? Is that even legal?”
“I’m so fake confused right now but I [think I] know you think I’m cute so I’ll keep going with this ignorance.”
That’s it. I can and will slap you…but you’re not worth going to jail for so I’ll continue.
8. How is that possible? (If you actually don’t have a big ol’ ghetto booty)
Then I’m like,
7. “You got too much attitude.”
Can you hear yourself??
6. “Is your hair horsehair?”
Just in case you’re confused
5. “Is it a weave?”
You’ll never know now. Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha.
4. “Can I touch it?”
You could have but all the stuff you said before doesn’t really make me inclined to let you, so no.
3. “Do black girls date [insert race here] guys?”
Because I am the spokesperson for every black woman. EVAR.
2. “You talk so white, I’m blacker than you!”
My bad, I didn’t realize that I had confused “talking white” for proper English all these years. I better quit before I lose all my blackness completely!!
Also, you’re so original.
1. “How would I even approach a black girl?”
I’M GLAD YOU ASKED!! It’s so easy.
Approach a black woman, with respect like you should any other woman. Just because she’s black doesn’t mean she is ethereal, inhuman, or whatever it is you thought she was, other than a woman. She’s a lady and she deserves to be treated like one.
Stay classy Buzzfeed!