Top Ten Most Outrageous Laws Still In The United States

In spite of being a largely progressive country for all of its history, the United States is not without its outrageous laws. They range from ridiculous to so oppressive that is just plain surprising that they still exist. It is unlikely to see any of the following enforced, but it is funny to imagine that they could be and quite legally, at that.

1. No Napping at the Salon

In Florida, it is illegal to fall asleep under a hair dryer. Now, this probably happened because someone fell asleep and fried her head. However, this should be common sense. It is stupid to use hot butter as sunscreen, but that doesn't mean it should be against the law.

2. No Beer Without Soup

In Nebraska, it is illegal to sell beer in a bar unless there is soup on the stove. This one is hard to pinpoint. There seems to be absolutely no logic to it. Nonetheless, bars that are following the law always have hot soup. That is not a bad thing.

3. No Mustaches in Church

Alabama has made it illegal to wear a fake mustache that makes people laugh in church. Clearly, this is a religious law because no one is allowed to make fun in church. Still, one has to stop and wonder if it is okay to wear a fake mustache as long as the congregation is entirely humorless.

4. No Apes on Board

It is illegal to have a gorilla in the backseat in Massachusetts. Is the front seat okay? What happened to the guy who tried this? This law brings up so many questions.

5. All Bear Passengers Must be Caged

It is illegal to drive a car with a bear in it, if that bear is not in a cage, in Missouri. This is another one of those common sense laws. There are less painful ways to commit suicide than being mauled by a frightened bear while driving a car, which is inevitably going to crash during the mauling.

6. No Protection for Murderers

Hartley Pecora Law Offices say it is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest while committing murder in New Jersey. Oh, Jersey.

7. Let Sleeping Bears Lie

In Alaska, you cannot wake up a sleeping bear in order to take a picture of or with it. In the interest of fairness, is there ever a good time to wake up a sleeping bear? Why not just make it illegal to wake up a bear . . . ever?

8. Guns for Kids

It is legal to own a gun in Michigan if you are 12 or older and have not committed a felony. Are handguns passed out with Easter candy?

9. Sober Fish

Ohio has a law against getting a fish drunk. Yet another law that is too specific to be taken seriously. What about the rest of the animal kingdom, Ohio?

10. Call Him Master

In Illinois, a woman must call her male date "master," unless the couple is married. It is very certain that feminists are not laughing at this one, but it has its funny aspects. What about men who prefer not to be "master?" Who gets in trouble for breaking the law then?