1. First off, Bravo is your go-to channel. Your TV's resting face, if you will.
2. You watch every Real Housewives city.
3. And you've scheduled your life around a Real Housewives reunion premiere.
4. You refer to the Housewives by first name, as if you know them.
5. And have followed their drama off TV and onto Twitter.
@LisaVanderpump if I'm so irrelevant and you can't stop talking about me and blogging about me what does that make you!??
6. Then back onto TV for their various spin-offs.
7. You've downloaded one of the Housewives' songs.
Or, at the very least, had one stuck in your head.
8. And you hold out hope that one day they'll do a Real Housewives all-stars, where a bunch of the women live on a yacht together, or something.
It could be a Below Deck crossover!
9. You're concerned with the current state of Mama Elsa's health.
10. And Giggy's alopecia.
11. You've attempted to re-create something you saw on Top Chef.
12. You've watched an entire season of The Millionaire Matchmaker in one day by accident after getting sucked in by a marathon.
13. You've also watched an entire day of Million Dollar Listing and had a mini-crisis about never being able to afford a home.
14. You've googled the Showbiz Moms & Dads cast to find out what happened to them.
And were disappointed to find...not much.
15. And not-so-secretly wish Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was still on.
16. You watched every episode of Kathy in the hopes it would somehow turn back into My Life on the D-List.
17. You wish you actually knew Zoila.
18. And you miss hearing Rachel Zoe say "lit'rally" every week.
19. You were devastated when Project Runway jumped ship to Lifetime.
20. And you had high hopes The Fashion Show could fill its void.
21. You even gave Launch My Line a shot.
22. Actually, you've given a lot of shows a chance.
23. You were personally offended when Camila Alves replaced Jaclyn Smith as the host of Shear Genius.
24. You're still wondering what happened to Top Design.
25. And Work of Art.
26. You need closure from the gone-too-soon Gallery Girls.
27. And you're still bitter there wasn't a Princesses: Long Island reunion.
28. You don't understand why Ladies of London isn't just called The Real Housewives of London.
29. You've dreamed of being the bartender on Watch What Happens Live.
30. Or, at the very least, a member of its tiny studio audience.
31. Really, you just want to be best friends with Andy Cohen.
32. Someone has asked you, "You seriously watch this?"
33. And, honestly, you wouldn't have it any other way.
