75 Things Girls Think While Getting Ready In The Morning

“How many times did I hit the snooze button? 23??? Oh…”

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1. Ugh.
2. BLERGH.
3. I don’t need to get up…
4. No.
5. I can just do everything from the comfort of my boyfriend—I mean bed.
6. Shit. How many times did I hit “Snooze”?
7. Great, now I’m running late.
8. Shower time.
9. DAMN! That’s fucking hot!
10. SHIT! Too cold…too cold….
11. How the hell does this thing work???
12. It is too damn early for this…
13. Ow…
14. OW!
15. Shampoo. In. Eyes.
16. Okay. Ow.
17. “Good job idiot.”
18. “You could have gone blind.”
19. Okay, I need to shave my legs today.
20. My legs could have their own park rangers…so much hair…
21. Damn it! I always cut my knees!
22. Okay, we’re done with the sharp blades…
23. I gotta get outta here…
24. Man, it’s like Frozen out here!
25. “The cold never bothered me anyway…”
26. Yeah right…
27. God, HOW does it take this long to dry my hair?
28. Ew, why does it look so flat and gross?
29. Did I not just wash it??

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30. Okay time to rub a bunch of expensive products on my face to make me look publicly acceptable.
31. Oh shit… too much foundation.
32. It looks like Snooki and an Oompa Loompa had a baby and rolled it around in Doritos.
33. Maybe my concealer will cancel it out…
34. Nope.
35. Ooh, should I try cat eyes today?
36. Here we go….
37. Steady…
38. Steady…….
39. Fuck.
40. Well, there goes that.
41. Okay, I’m done here.
42. Maybe I should leave my hair down today…
43. Ew. No.
44. I could curl it…
45. I have 3 minutes…
46. No… * sigh *
47. Ponytail it is.
48. Again.
49. Okay.
50. This is it.
51. I need to venture into my closet at some point.
52. Maybe I could wear a dress?
53. Oh, this one’s pretty!
54. What the—
55. When did—
56. How does this look SO terrible on me??
57. When did I develop an extra stomach??
58. Sweats.
59. Fine.

60. Should I eat breakfast?
61. I really should.
62. It’s good for me.
63. Let’s see what we have.
64. Mustard…
65. Grape juice…
66. Whipped cream — oooh!
67. Okay, no time for breakfast
68. Where’s my mom?
69. Is she even awake?
70. Doesn’t she know I have school?
71. Oh, hey mom…
72. What’s that?
73. It’s Saturday??
74. Fuck.
75. Back to bed.

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