1. “If I’m ever late — page me.”
Argument: I’ll come home as soon as you page me.
Reality: Your parents can page you as much as they want, because the minute you come home you’re going to say, “I forgot to bring it with me,” or, “Oh, I didn’t realize I had accidently turned it off.”
2. “We can make this connection.”
Argument: We will talk more now because you can easily reach me.
Reality: You’re going to continue to keep up as minimal communication with your parents as possible.
3. “I am never going to take this to school.”
Argument: I won’t ever take it to school.
Reality: Are you kidding? This is coming to school with you every day, and you’re going to coordinate the pager case with your outfits.
4. “Your pages come first.”
Argument: You’re important and I respect you, dear parents, so your pages come first.
Reality: Actually, your friends pages come first. And when you’re around your friends, you’re definitely going to pretend that you’re not getting pages from your parents.
5. Now relive your arguments with Motorola’s “Dad, I want a pager” commercial:
- Greece voted "no" on sweeping new austerity measures tied to further bailout funds. Its future in the eurozone is uncertain, and its creditors are unimpressed.
- The U.S. faces Japan in Vancouver in the final match of the FIFA Women's World Cup ⚽️
- Captured New York prison escapee David Sweat has been released from hospital and is back in jail.