1. “If I’m ever late — page me.”
Argument: I’ll come home as soon as you page me.
Reality: Your parents can page you as much as they want, because the minute you come home you’re going to say, “I forgot to bring it with me,” or, “Oh, I didn’t realize I had accidently turned it off.”
2. “We can make this connection.”
Argument: We will talk more now because you can easily reach me.
Reality: You’re going to continue to keep up as minimal communication with your parents as possible.
3. “I am never going to take this to school.”
Argument: I won’t ever take it to school.
Reality: Are you kidding? This is coming to school with you every day, and you’re going to coordinate the pager case with your outfits.
4. “Your pages come first.”
Argument: You’re important and I respect you, dear parents, so your pages come first.
Reality: Actually, your friends pages come first. And when you’re around your friends, you’re definitely going to pretend that you’re not getting pages from your parents.
5. Now relive your arguments with Motorola’s “Dad, I want a pager” commercial:
- A conservation group in Zimbabwe reported that Jericho, the brother of beloved lion Cecil, was shot and killed by a hunter. But some scientists monitoring the pride believe he is OK.
- Joe Biden has begun to "actively explore a possible presidential campaign," the New York Times reports.
- The trooper who pulled over Sandra Bland was disciplined for "unprofessional conduct" in the fall of 2014, records show.