1. “If I’m ever late — page me.”
Argument: I’ll come home as soon as you page me.
Reality: Your parents can page you as much as they want, because the minute you come home you’re going to say, “I forgot to bring it with me,” or, “Oh, I didn’t realize I had accidently turned it off.”
2. “We can make this connection.”
Argument: We will talk more now because you can easily reach me.
Reality: You’re going to continue to keep up as minimal communication with your parents as possible.
3. “I am never going to take this to school.”
Argument: I won’t ever take it to school.
Reality: Are you kidding? This is coming to school with you every day, and you’re going to coordinate the pager case with your outfits.
4. “Your pages come first.”
Argument: You’re important and I respect you, dear parents, so your pages come first.
Reality: Actually, your friends pages come first. And when you’re around your friends, you’re definitely going to pretend that you’re not getting pages from your parents.