1. “If I’m ever late — page me.”
Argument: I’ll come home as soon as you page me.
Reality: Your parents can page you as much as they want, because the minute you come home you’re going to say, “I forgot to bring it with me,” or, “Oh, I didn’t realize I had accidently turned it off.”
2. “We can make this connection.”
Argument: We will talk more now because you can easily reach me.
Reality: You’re going to continue to keep up as minimal communication with your parents as possible.
3. “I am never going to take this to school.”
Argument: I won’t ever take it to school.
Reality: Are you kidding? This is coming to school with you every day, and you’re going to coordinate the pager case with your outfits.
4. “Your pages come first.”
Argument: You’re important and I respect you, dear parents, so your pages come first.
Reality: Actually, your friends pages come first. And when you’re around your friends, you’re definitely going to pretend that you’re not getting pages from your parents.
5. Now relive your arguments with Motorola’s “Dad, I want a pager” commercial:
- The family of Sandra Bland, who died in a Texas jail cell in July three days after she was detained during a traffic stop, filed a wrongful death lawsuit in federal court.
- Migrant deaths in the Mediterranean have exceeded 2,000, making 2015 the deadliest year for people trying to reach Europe, according to the International Organization for Migration.
- At least 24 homes have been lost and one firefighter killed as dozens of wildfires continue to ravage drought-stricken California.