1. So summer always means one thing and it’s not sunshine, BBQs, or going to the beach. Nope. For some of us summer means…
4. And why? BECAUSE WATERMELON IS JUST PLAIN GROSS.
6. Secondly, it’s basically all nasty rough seeds!
Who’s got time to be carefully eat around all those seeds?
7. Thirdly, watermelon has the consistency of sandy diarrhea.
That’s right, SANDY DIARRHEA. DEAL. WITH. IT.
8. Plus, all season you have to listen to people talk about how much they LOVE watermelon.
10. And people are always using it for fruit arrangements, basically contaminating all the other the fruit and making it inedible.
14. And you know what’s worse than REAL watermelon? ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED WATERMELON PRODUCTS.
15. GAG. I rather drink a warm Natty Light.
Yeah, it’s that gross.
18. NOPE. These are just a crime against regular and delicious Oreo cookies.
20. And you know where else watermelon has NO place: In perfumes and soaps.
Nobody needs the saccharine stank of watermelon scented soaps and perfumes.
- President Obama apologized to Doctors Without Borders for the airstrike that killed 22 people at a clinic in Afghanistan. ›
- The U.S. Coast Guard said it will suspend the search for the crew of El Faro, the cargo ship that went missing in the Caribbean during Hurricane Joaquin last week. ›
- Hillary Clinton says she's "not in favor" of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, the 12-nation trade deal championed by President Obama. ›