7 Disgusting Retro Canned Foods That You Won’t Believe Existed

These foods make Spam sound downright appetizing.

1. Oscar Mayer’s “Sack O’ Sauce in a Can O’ Meat”

Nothing says “fresh cooked” like canned hot dogs!

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2. E-Z Serve Liver Loaf

Beef liver is generally disgusting; eating it cold from a can sounds downright nauseating.

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3. Burns canned meat.

Bologna is already slimy and gross, so it makes sense that it would be canned. But hamburgers! This is just plain un-American.

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4. Armour Star Ribs in a Can

This is just dog food with bones.

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5. Burns Spork and Speef

What the hell is Speef and Spork? Decorating the Speef with cloves and pimentos does not even disguise the fact that it looks like a can of turd.

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6. Hormel Whole Chicken

Hormel’s pitch could not make this sound any more unappetizing:

“eat it cold as it comes from the can.”

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7. Swifts Meats for Babies

Why buy expensive formula when your baby is more than capable of digesting pork at three weeks of age? And it comes in a variety of flavors: veal, liver, and heart.

Remember, your baby is never to young to get gout.

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Bonus: Jarred Tamales

Slimy, cold, and wrapped in parchment paper, just like my abuela used to make.

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