1. You were part of the official membership club — and got this sweet-ass patch as validation:
2. You were a true-blue fan and ordered everything from the fan club.
3. You scribbled down a list of all the songs they sang, in order, after every show.
4. You and your friends knew the entire choreography to “Step by Step” — and performed it at the school talent show.
5. Your room was DECKED. OUT. You had full-on NKOTB bedding: bedsheets, comforter, pillowcases, shams…
7. …and, of course, pictures from every teenybopper magazine under the sun plastered on your walls.
8. You decorated your bed with the plush dolls.
9. Sleepover at your BFF’s? Don’t forget your NKOTB sleeping bag.
Extra points if you used this to camp out at the Today show reunion in 2008.
10. And the NKOTB board game.
The best part? Setting up those way-cool cardboard picture frames.
12. You sent fan mail ALL THE TIME.
13. You wrote so much that you even got a response (luckily it wasn’t a restraining order).
14. You HATED Tiffany because she was dating Jonathan Knight. Step aside, Tiffany. Just step aside!
He later confirmed he is gay, but you would still totally marry him.
15. You called the Official NKOTB Hotline, 1-900-909-5KIDS — hanging on to a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, a real, live New Kid would be on the other end — much to your parents’ phone bill’s dismay.
16. Bubbilicious? Pshaw. No time for that when you could be CHEWING NKOTB BUBBLE GUM.
And saving all the faux-cassette packaging because it would definitely be “worth something” one day. Or you just wanted to stare into Joey’s ocean-blue eyes forever and ever.
19. You spent your weekends watching their VHS tapes and special concerts taped off of Pay-per-view over & over.
20. And you caught every episode of their short-lived cartoon series on ABC’s Saturday morning cartoons.
But you never admitted how awful it was.
21. You taped this Coke comercial.
22. You busted this baby out to dance around the house to every Christmas:
OK, let’s be honest: You listened to this album even when it wasn’t Christmas.
23. You know the group was originally named — ew! — Nynuk (an unknown planet? a funky disease?) and initially included Mark Wahlberg and some other dude named Jamie Kelly.
24. You totally bought their first album (which initially had terrible sales), featuring the New Kids as sort-of-creepily fresh-faced babies, only after you listened to Hangin’ Tough three or four years later.
25. Admit it, you bought this album as well.
Lookin’ good, guys.
26. On your way to school? Bring the New Kids along to class with notebooks…
28. …a stylin’ tee…
(Perfect to pair with your Guess acid-washed jeans.)
29. …some sweet jewelry…
31. You made your parents buy you this shirt because Danny Wood was wearing it.
Also, you became a Red Sox and Celtics fan, despite the fact that you lived nowhere near Boston.
32. You drank from this McDonald’s “collector’s” cup until the paint started to peel off and your mom tossed it out behind your back. It was a COLLECTOR’S item.
33. You owned every one of the dolls.
Also, you might have been a little too old to still be playing with dolls.