2. Sometimes you need a line of coke to start your workday.
3. You’re always HONEST with your friends when giving fashion advice…
4. …and about everything else in general.
5. Your moves get better with each drink you have.
6. You basically can’t deal with people who are too fat…
7. …or too skinny.
8. Every once in awhile you’re not afraid to let out an ugly cry.
9. Knowing the importance of having an boilermaker in the afternoon.
10. You know that a pouty lip is the best way to flirt with a bartender.
11. You know the secret to keeping thin.
12. Nothing is cool unless you say it’s cool.
13. You know how to make a bong out of anything.
14. Being considerate of other people’s feelings is not really your thing.
15. You constantly maintain a 0.10–0.19 blood alcohol level.
16. No scientific evidence can convince you smoking is bad.
17. You know how to ask for help.
18. You realize that there is never a bad time to down an entire bottle of vodka.
19. Or bottle of champagne.
20. This basically describes your weekend plans.
21. Most importantly: You know the power of good bitchface.
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