1. I think we should call this album by its real title: Talky Tina Terrifies Children.
2. You know that weird creepy uncle you only see on holidays? Well, he released an album.
3. This is quite possibly the most depressing children’s album title ever.
4. Warning: These are the last three faces you will see before you meet Jesus.
6. Speaking of dolls that look like they will kill you in your sleep:
7. “Hey, kids, don’t listen to your parents. Uncle Art is here to tell you about the birds and the bees.”
Also, was Art in the middle of explaining something when they snapped the photo?
8. This album is also your child’s first Christmas-related nightmare!
Seriously, what the fuck is up with that creepy-ass Santa mask?!