13 Creepy And Bizarre Vintage Children’s Albums

Seriously, why did so many weird dolls and puppets release records?!

1. I think we should call this album by its real title: Talky Tina Terrifies Children.

2. You know that weird creepy uncle you only see on holidays? Well, he released an album.

3. This is quite possibly the most depressing children’s album title ever.

4. Warning: These are the last three faces you will see before you meet Jesus.

5. THAT DOLL HAS MURDER IN ITS EYES:

6. Speaking of dolls that look like they will kill you in your sleep:

7. “Hey, kids, don’t listen to your parents. Uncle Art is here to tell you about the birds and the bees.”

Also, was Art in the middle of explaining something when they snapped the photo?

8. This album is also your child’s first Christmas-related nightmare!

Seriously, what the fuck is up with that creepy-ass Santa mask?!

9. Having trouble sleeping? Dickory Doc and his gang of horrifying mutated puppets are here to lull you to sleep.

10. I’m more curious to find out what kinda relationship Erick and Beverly are having.

11. That kid’s face says it all:

12. When did Stephen King’s Pennywise release an album?

13. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.

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