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1. Lindsay Lohan
Duh. Likeliest causes: drugs, alcohol, propensity for being involved in car crashes, child star curse.
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2. Justin Bieber
Likeliest cause: angry teenage mob.
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3. Robert Pattinson
Likeliest cause: slightly older angry teenage mob.
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4. Tila Tequila
Likeliest cause: all life choices.
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5. Heidi Montag
Likeliest causes: implant explosion.
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6. Nick Jonas
Likeliest cause: diabetes.
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7. Kendra Wilkinson
Likeliest cause: STDs.
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8. Britney Spears
Likeliest cause: sadness.
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9. Levi Johnston
Likeliest cause: ATV accident.
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10. Ke$ha
Likeliest cause: alcohol poisoning.
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11. Ali Lohan
Likeliest cause: proximity to Lindsay Lohan.
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12. Snooki
Likeliest cause: assault.
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13. Frankie Muniz
Likeliest causes: race-car driving, child star curse.
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14. Mischa Barton
Likeliest cause: drugs.
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15. Taylor Momsen
Likeliest cause: drugs.
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16. Kristin Cavalleri
Likeliest cause: drugs.
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17. Jodie Sweetin
Likeliest causes: drugs (specifically meth), child star curse.
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18. the cast of Glee
Likeliest causes: exhaustion, teen mobs
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19. Jake Gyllenhaal
Likeliest cause: precipitous fall (of his career.)
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20. Amy Winehouse
Likeliest cause: inevitability.
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21. Lady Gaga
Likeliest cause: strangled by costume.
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22. Mary Kate Olsen
Likeliest cause: strangled by clothes.
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23. Jay Cutler
Likeliest cause: diabetes.
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24. Anne Hathaway
Likeliest cause: nefarious boyfriend.
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25. Noah Cyrus
Likeliest cause: family’s life choices.
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26. Kirsten Dunst
Likeliest causes: alcohol poisoning, child star curse.
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27. Dakota Fanning
Likeliest cause: vampires.
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28. Jonathan Lipnicki
Likeliest cause: child star curse.
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29. Michael Cera
Likeliest cause: backlash whiplash.
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30. Sienna Miller
Likeliest cause: vicious girl-on-girl hate.
30 Under 30: The Celebs Most Likely To Die Young This Summer
It is well-documented: Summer likes to kill celebrities. To prepare you for the worst (unless Gary Coleman was Your Worst, in which case, condolences), here is a list of the at-risk Young Hollywood stars. Say a prayer for each of them.
Links
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1
Summer of Death, courtsey of The Awl
theawl.com
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- LeMeACatLover thinks 30 Under 30: The Celebs Most Likely... is LOL
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tiptoptippy 3 months agoyeah….i have type 1 diabetes and it’s an unavoidable disease. not really funny to joke about people dying from it, on the other hand drugs is something you do to yourself. not really cool to joke about any of it though, in my opinion.
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LeMeACatLover a month agoLook,it’s not okay to joke about death from diabetes,but it is okay to joke about Nick Jonas’ future misery!! My friend Daniel has Type 1 Diabetes and he understands that Mr.Jonas has taken WAY too much advantage of everything.
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amandasavestheday 3 years agoLet’s face it: Tila would die of Exsanguination after cutting off her own leg to get attention.
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Mock Turtle 3 years agoLevi Johnston’s most likely cause should be “Sarah Palin in a helicopter,” but other than that… Also please god no not Gaga & Amy. :(
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- czenl thinks 30 Under 30: The Celebs Most Likely... is Trashy
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Mohammad T. 3 years agoThe Cast of Glee doesn’t belong too this list
as for #12: Over sized hairpuff -
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Rosa 3 years ago3. We oughta give R-Pat a few years, based solely on his hygiene, I’d pair him with black tar heroin.
12. Mystic Tan inhalation or “Orange Lung”
13. Death by the public refusal to acknowledge his existence.
15. By looking like 40 year old Courtney Love at only 15 years old.
21. Impalement by discostick…or Lupus.
25. Noah’s gonna get caught up in the wrong childhood prostitution ring. Inevitable. And to 5, 9, 10, 11 & 18 = Godspeed! -
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Kelly Munster 3 years agoi really want to believe that jodie sweetin is healthy & happy despite her meth past.
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dooflotchie 3 years ago#30. Sienna Miller
Likeliest cause: vicious girl-on-girl hate. Yeah…I’m already feeling a vicious surge of hate for that fucking ugly dress! -












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