Church Signs To Cause Traffic Accidents

Hark! The word of God as interpreted by mere mortals. Church signs that include the bizarre, the sexy (?), the judgmental, and the just plain insane. Enjoy!

1. The “Oddly Sexual in Nature”: Because, as we all know, religion has always had a sense of humour when it comes to sex.

Knee pads help….oh, for praying, I mean.

ID: 143485

Better than a loose place, I guess.

ID: 143486

I thought sodomy was frowned upon.

ID: 143498

Even God loves a swallower.

ID: 143500

I asked my Mom, but she couldn’t remember.

ID: 143503

Only if you do it right.

ID: 143506

7. The “I Thought Only God Could Judge”: Judging others, religions favorite past time.

Yeah, cuz those crafty Protestants are evil, I hear.

ID: 143526

I kissed a girl and I liked it too, but afterwards, I just went to Jamba Juice.

ID: 143540

Do they think the Jews are gunning for Christmas?

ID: 143542

Because it’s hard to Shout-out those brain stains all over the carpet.

ID: 143545

Religious zealots always bring in the best poon.

ID: 143549

12. The “Hook ‘Em While They’re Young”: Because children are dumb, these signs surely worked.

I think My Space and Jesus died about the same time.

ID: 143555

My computer protection told me the download was riddled with viruses so I passed.

ID: 143569

Shhhh…don’t let Google hear you say that!

ID: 143593


ID: 143600

Jesus or not, he’ll still need a search warrant. I know my rights.

ID: 143611

Is Snoop Dog the pastor here?

ID: 143614

18. The “Ouotes From God”: I’m sure he’d appreciate us mere mortals putting words in his mouth.

Yeah, cuz that won’t make more people say “Goddammit!”.

ID: 143625

I’m pretty sure 2 out of 3 of those things were around before religion.

ID: 143642

Please do…I always wondered what you look like. I betting you’re a midget (Napolean Complex).

ID: 143651

I wonder what God’s status updates would look like? “I couldn’t have created a better couple than Bella and Edward! Team Edward, all the way!”

ID: 143660

22. The “WTF”: These are just unexplainable.

But I thought they didn’t believe in assisted suicide.

ID: 143671

What if it’s a really nice shirt?

ID: 143676

Finally! A place for me! Can I bring my bong?

ID: 143680

25. And, finally….The “Truly Funny”: There are only two because it happens so rarely.

I imagine him sitting in the corner of a coffee shop, drinking a dopio, scarf tied just so ‘round his neck, reading an obscure book, and listening to music we’ve never heard of.

ID: 143693

Ay, me matey. Tis true, indeed.

ID: 143698

Check out more articles on!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

  Your Reaction?

    Hot Buzz

    17 Mind-Blowingly Delicious Noodles To Try In NYC


    31 Reasons Potatoes Are The Best Thing At Thanksgiving


    Now Buzzing