12 Scary, Creepy, & Weird Toys

Hey! Do you hate your child? If so, get ‘em one of these gems!

1. 1.

I always thought babies were creepy anyway and then I see this; time to get the old tubes tied!

2. 2.

Creepy but somehow, also awesome. I’d snuggle it until it slit my throat in my sleep. Awwwwwwwww…..

3. 3.

And here’s the perfect gift for a little girl who’s mother doesn’t care if daughter grows up to be a slutty, vapid, dullard.

4. 4.

Here’s where I stopped sleeping for a week.

5. 5.

This…..I don’t know what this does, but it seems to involve sticking your vulnerable finger into a mysterious hole. No thanks.

6. 6.

Have you ever wished for a hairy baby so you could spend your days shving said baby? Well, here you go. Enjoy, pervert.

7. 7.

Aw, monkey….the founding father of nightmarish children’s toys. Classic creepiness.

8. 8.

All those Moms buying Brats for their girls, might as well pick up this educational toy, as well. Better to get them learning their future trade early on.

9. 9.

A great toy for all your terrorist friends or for your mom if she’s really fucked up!

10. 10.

At last, a blood thirsty, rampaging unicorn toy! Complete with multiple victims and inter-changable goring horns? I know what I’m asking for next Xmas!

11. 11.

If you have a child who is an amputee, what better way to make them feel shittier by rubbing it in their faces with this disturbing doll! Genius!

12. 12.

Um….your very own genetic experiment gone horribly wrong? Sounds like there’s no way to possibly have fun with this toy unless you let in loose in Grandma’s bathtub.

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