10 Reasons The World Needs A Space Jam Sequel NOW!

With rumors that may or may not have some traction being thrown around that a Space Jam is indeed, getting a sequel, here are a few reasons that it needs to stop being a rumor, and start being a fact.

1. The Looney Tunes Have Been Replaced By Imposters

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I recently ran across an alleged new version of the Looney Tunes on Cartoon Network. It cannot be unseen. These clearly are not the Looney Tunes... something has got to give. Space Jam was the last one that truly felt like an extension of the beloved cartoon franchise. While it was a 90's version, it did not feel out of place like some other versions of the renditions. It is time to let the Kids of today know what the Looney Tunes are REALLY like, and adults need to know what happened to the ones they know and love!

2. Swackhammer Needs Revenge, Right?

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I find it hard to believe that Swackhammer took the loss well. He is going to want revenge. I mean he isn't just going to sit back and accept the defeat just because his minions shoved him in a rocket ship and sent him back home right? I have never met an evil Alien businessman that would accept that. It has been 18 years since the big game. What has he been up to? Is he still evil? Has he turned his life around? Is he the one that keeps stealing Kobe Bryant and Derrick Rose's talent? The world must know! And speaking of his minions...

3. The Monstars Went MIA Right After The Movie Ended. Where Did They Go?

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What happened to them? Did they run back to Swackhammer? Did they go into seclusion? Did the Looney Tunes only pretend to accept them so that they could have their revenge for that whole... trying to enslave them all thing? Why are they so silent on the whereabouts of these characters? This must be answered.

4. What Kinds of Permanent Damage Did Stan Podolak Experience?

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While he makes some appearances at the end, Stan Podolak has to have some long term scars, either emotional, mental, or physical. Has he not been the same since being crushed, being filled with more air than any human human should be able to survive, then shot around an arena for 30 seconds take it's toll? Is there some psychological damage that must be dealt with? We really deserve an answer.

5. Warner Brothers Can Finally Update Space Jam's Web Site

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The Space Jam web site is sort of a 90's internet graveyard these days. While most sites have updated to the age or ceased to exist, Space Jam's web site is still rolling in all of it's mid 90's free trial of AOL goodness. Isn't a makeover needed?

6. Does the Monstars' Game Translate to Today's Style?

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Basketball in 1996 was much different than basketball in 2014. Rough play isn't tolerated like it used to be, meaning that it would be hard to do things, such as setting the other team on fire, jumping on the basket and body slamming a much smaller player, Instant replay would make it even harder to get away with those tactics nowadays.

7. Does R. Kelly Still Believe He Can Fly?

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There is no denying that Space Jam produced one of the best soundtracks of the nineties, but does R Kelly still have the same sense of optimism that he had back in 1996? If not, why? Does he have more confidence than before? Does he now believe he can fly, and breathe under water? We really need to know what R Kelly is up to these days when he's not making songs with Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber.

8. It Could Spawn a Space Jam Video Game Sequel, As Well!

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Space Jam on PlayStation was almost as much a part of my childhood as the movie itself was. What other games let you make a basket as a skunk by kissing it into the hoop? NONE! That's how many. Now imagine that in the next generation of games. Need I say more?

9. They Can Answer Why There Was a Paper Clip in Michael Jordan's Ear.

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Was that what drove him all along? He clearly got it before he went to Looney Tune Land, as it never cut away once he got there. Did he ever have it removed? If not, why didn't he? Was it a metal paperclip, or a plastic one? We need these answers in order to further understand the many subtle nuances of the first movie.

10. The Original is Widely Regarded as the Greatest Movie of All Time.

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What other evidence do you need? GET. THIS. MOVIE. MADE! SIGN THIS PETITION AND MAKE IT HAPPEN!