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The Perentie Is The Most Bad-Ass Australian Animal You’ve Never Heard Of

Today Wild Life Sydney Zoo said the Perentie was the most unknown Australian animal… It’s time to change that.

1. This is a Perentie.

Isn’t he cute?

2. The perentie is Australia’s largest lace monitor or goanna.

3. Look at that tongue.

4. They can grow up to 2 meters long!

Which is about 6 1/2 Subway footlongs on the Subway Footlong Scale of Measurement.

5. And they have near superhero-strength senses.

6. They can also RUN CONTINUOUSLY FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

Which makes them ENDURANCE HUNTERS.

7. HERE’S ONE ‘ENDURANCE HUNTING’ A TURTLE.

  1. Do you think the turtle lived?
    1. Yes!
    2. No!

9. Most lizards inflate their lungs with the same muscles used for walking.

10. But most lizards are IDIOTS.

kelifamily/kelifamily

Look at this dumbo.

11. The Perentie has neck muscles that Godzilla would be jealous of.

So it doesn’t have to deal with any of that STUPID LIZARD shit.

12. To top it all off, perentie are also REALLY SEDUCTIVE

Need I say more?

13. And that’s why the perentie needs more respect.

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